The bar

Cherry

By Parson Thru

Fri, 12 Oct 2012
  • 4156 reads
18 comments
 

He walked into the bar.

At the tables sat the usual faces,
mulling their drinks.

Each bottle and glass was covered in sticky
red fingerprints.

The walls were spattered with fresh blood
and small pieces of flesh.

In a space on the floor between the tables
lay a torso.

Naked, bloody and ragged.

From its shoulders and hips trailed the wet ends
of nerves and ligaments.

The face, seemingly intact, wore the expression
of someone delivering a homily.

The drinkers were engrossed in a discussion
of morals and ethics.

They seemed oblivious to the state of the room.

He quietly closed the door
and walked on to the next bar.

Certificate PG
Poem
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by steve_elliott04 on
This is very well written. Good use of structure. Just to ease my own mind, is this poem to be read as a shock story, or as a metaphorical representation of how these places can affect some people? Or perhaps my sleepy head is distorting how I read this... ha Anyway, I really enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing. Steve

Submitted by Sooz006 on
I read it as the metaphorical doo-dah. You can imagine the carnage of the blood and body and people still sitting there glassy eyed and bitter slugging, just the same as without the body. Great writing PT.

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
As did I read it metaphorically. Great stuff, PT. Tina

 

Submitted by Parson Thru on
Metaphorical doo-dah. Thanks Steve, Sooz and Tina and cherie dispenser. Cherie Bimbo I is! ;-) x

Parson Thru

Submitted by Highhat on
Very good PT- cheerie cherrio ;)Pia

Submitted by Parson Thru on
Ta Pia. x

Parson Thru

Submitted by seashore on
Oh good - I can cope now I know it's a metaphorical whatsit. Clever stuff, PT.

Submitted by Parson Thru on
Thank you seashore. :-)

Parson Thru

Submitted by moonphish on
man....i would too....scary stuff

Submitted by Parson Thru on
Thanks moonphish. Been in a few joints where this might happen, mind.

Parson Thru

Submitted by Denzella on
Hello PT, Just like our local on a Saturday night. Only kidding but I'm glad it was metaphorical although I wasn't sure at first. I just wish I could pick up when something is metaphorical but I don't think my mind works like that. Still I enjoyed this very much. MOya
 

Submitted by scratch on
Well Kev, that's different - in a good way. It put me in mind of lots of things; the opening 10 minutes of "Kill Bill" and the Tory party conference to name but two. Fantastic structure and economy, proper grown up stuff. Well done you cherry bimbo.

 

Submitted by Ed Crane on
Sounds like a metaphore for a Poetry forum. Pretty darn good though. Congrats on the cherries. B

 

Submitted by Parson Thru on
Hi Moya. Glad that you enjoyed in the end. Means a lot. Hi scratch. Can't beat a bit of blood on the walls. Thanks mate. Hi Bexley. Thanks. It's the effect of observing life and the living. Sometimes we write it down in a certain way and they call us poets.

Parson Thru

Submitted by Parson Thru on
Hi Bear. Thanks for reading. I suppose once it's written it's yours and whoever else reads it. The meaning, that is. Hardly matters what I might have intended in a way. Not sure what kicked it off was what finished it anyway. Thanks for rating it. What did your question mean? Sorry for not understanding it.

Parson Thru

Submitted by Parson Thru on
Hi Bear. Thanks for your clarification. Strangely, I've just posted something before reading this that is about someone very close to us here. I felt compelled to get something down - not great, but it's what came. I see where you are coming from now. It's interesting to have written something, I suppose unintentionally, that has that effect on you and other people who may read it, too. Reinforces that point about 'once it's out there' I suppose. I wrote the poem as an indirect comment on something that I had strong feelings about. Maybe that accounts for the imagery. I feel responsible for what I write, but not always able to predict how it might affect those who read it. It's great having this conversation with you, Bear. A lot to consider. Thanks, as ever, for your kind comments. Kev

Parson Thru

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
I love the sparse structure to this, Kev. Gruesome and raw, this one will stay with me for a long time. "From its shoulders and hips trailed the wet ends of nerves and ligaments." - wow, what a powerful and disturbing image. Really set those little hairs on the back of my neck on end. Well done on the cherries! Magic xxx

 

Submitted by Parson Thru on
Hi Magic. Thanks for reading and commenting. People's reaction to this really caught me out. Glad you got something out of it. Hope study enjoyable. X

Parson Thru