Dying I should have known death

Dying I should have known death,
Falling I should have known scars
Reaching for final gasped breath
I should have looked down from the stars

I should have knocked back a large scotch
An anti-emetic sunk first
Then stared at the life winding clock
Then barbs to have ended my thirst.

Should have known that a love never calls
Should have known that the phone never rings
Should have smashed paining skull against walls
Should have flown from a hanged rope on wings.

What's the point of a recycled churn
Of a life full of people who leave?
When we're drawn back why bother to turn
From the blackness of dark where we grieve?