First Admission

FIRST ADMISSION

Grey walls, blank staring eyes, smoke billowing from cigarettes held between clenched lips.
eyes watching, observing, examining wondering why she's here,
beats waiting for the tea trolley to be dragged out.
She sits waiting, watching the clock, not removing her coat, she isn't staying.
he will come back for her, there's been a terrible mistake.

She's crying now, nobody moves she may be violent. Let the staff take care of her.
no-one comes.

She moves to look out of the window, mumbling to herself, she turn's to look at me.
I see her fear, her many questions. I don't have any answers.
I move away, bored with wondering.

A nurse arrives to admit her, to look through her belongings she shakes her head it's private, anyway she's not staying.
The nurse says different, she's very ill, she needs to see a doctor.

The woman is alone now, waiting, waiting for answers.
The doctor arrives and takes her away, he listens, pen in hand taking notes.
She tells him her fears, hopes and dreams, he prescribes medication and a hospital bed.
She argues, she is going home.
He replies hands her a piece of paper, legally, she has to stay.

She returns to the day room, broken in two, he will not return for her now.
Her sobs echo round the room, it's too much to bear, I walk over offer her a tissue.

I see fear in her eyes.
I have no shoes on I haven't shaved, I haven't bathed.
I walk past unsure of myself. I return hand out stretched,
she takes the tissue with thanks.

She continues to sob and rock with pain.
she has been left alone, what has she done to deserve this?
They bring out the drug trolley, her name is called.
she walks unwillingly across, whispering that God will heal her.
She refuses the treatment.

She is shown to her bed.