The DWQ (Dunk-Whunk Quotient)

I am a great believer that, harming none, and while amongst consenting adults, activities in the privacy of one’s own home are one’s own affair.  This maxim is, afterall, one of the underlying motivations to work and earn money in order to have one’s own home in the first place.  Living the dream, in a jammie-wearing, pottering aimlessly, dunk-like-nobody’s-looking fashion. 

In one’s own home, the question, ‘to dunk or not to dunk’, does not concern table manners.  No.  The question refers to the dunkability and whunkability of any particular biscuit.  Hereafter referred to as the ‘dunkee’.  Once dunked, what is the dunkee’s dunk-whunk quotient?  ‘Whunk’ is the scientific term for the splashy mess a too-long dunked dunkee makes as it breaks into disgusting blobs falling to the base of the cup, ruining the flavour of the tea, causing feelings of dismay, disappointment and in extreme cases, negative thoughts that one will never achieve happiness in life.  (Often the reason for having a sit down, a nice cup of tea and a dunk in the first place). 

Ginger Nuts, low DWQ, dunk at will.  Digestives, for risk-takers, appear to be low DWQ, but collapse into tea-bedraggled sludge quicker than one can exhale an expletive, especially if the tablecloth was freshly laid.

General rules of DWQ, ‘The Biscotti Exception’ notwithstanding:

1. Never dunk when visiting, on a first date, having tea at Fortnum’s
2. The harder the dunkee is to bite, the lower the DWQ
3. The higher the buttery or oaty content of a dunkee, the higher the DWQ
4. The only thing to dunk in cappuccino is a small perfectly formed globe of vanilla ice cream.  The use of a spoon for the purpose is recommended.
5. Never dunk a Jaffa Cake

Unless one has hot chocolate.

And several napkins.

https://lovin.ie/lifestyle/jaffa-cakes-crowned-the-most-dunk-able-biscuit-in-a-controversial-turn-of-events

@purplehaze_journals   I’ve created an insta account for photos of some of the journal topics – I won’t post every time on there, mostly for bus pass adventures, Nature photos or funnies, like the cruffin. I invite you to have a sit down and a dunk and enjoy.