Journal 3rd October

3rd October

New moon and a solar eclipse today. As if there isn't enough energy flying about.

Got another email from sweet dark green eyes. Telling me how fast he ran his 10k. Flexing his muscles at me electronically. I can smell the testosterone from here.
Men.
They are adorable.
Incomprehensible, but adorable.

I do like to think he ran a wee bit faster, knowing he is loved though.
From afar.

He's asking me what I do for a living. Is that progress? And recommending chocolate. I like a man who knows his chocolate. Is this flirting? I love his skirting, tentative ways, and am happy to join in. The impending hospital stay making me take my time and just enjoy the connection whatever it is. Funny emails. Skirting around. She loves me. I'll just throw her a bone, give her some butterflies.

He's read my emails more than once I think. They are long and full of jokes. He said he was reminded of me reading my last one (is that good?), and each of his new ones mentions something from my longer ones.
Re-reading me.
I like that.
He says I'm a great writer.
I like that even more.
He says I'm really great.
Can live with that.
He says there was a 'kind of click' with us at the course
Kali freak out at that one.

A kind if click!

You grabbed me and kissed me and you were shaking when you did it.

Kind of click.

Bloody men.
Honestly.

LB phoned and we had a long conversation about the op and my decision about my mum. I'm astounded he's not repulsed by talk of the operation, in fact he asks me all about it and reassures me about my recovery and what it means. I talk about fertility not being the main issue for me and he says
'No way you're 44, I thought you were late twenties.'

I love my LB.

And immediately think, well I'll never hear from him again now.