Woollen Peters Shocking Question

"Why on earth would you ask me that, Woollen Peter? spat Colonel Chipfat.

"Because I've got your scotch egg collection! came the reply from the distinctly hairy corner of the room.

"What? What did you say?

"You heard.

"You know how much it means to me! Give it back! Give it back right now you mongrel!

"Not in a million cat years. Its mine now and that's that. I've already eaten half of the collected works of Russia. Why would you want a couple of dirty old Russian scotch eggs with my teeth marks in them? You know I've had gingivitis for nigh on two score and twain. And besides, the whole collection is now utterly covered in my wool.

And with that, the fiend usually known as Woollen Peter made a sharp exit out of the front door, carrying with him a suitcase filled with dozens of rare and interesting scotch eggs from around the globe. Colonel Chipfat stood still, gazing through the open door of his once proud homestead. It would never be the same again.