Cartwright Curse

None of Ben Cartwright's sons will date my daughter.
Staying away from those boys is what I've taught her.
She won't date any of them because their girlfriends often die.
None of them will date my daughter but Little Joe decided to try.
Little Joe is sweet on her and I know that he wants to be her groom.
I shot him in the ass when I caught him trying to sneak up to her room.
She won't date any of those Cartwright boys because I believe they're cursed.
I shot Joe in the ass and if any of them try to date her again, they'll get worse.
She won't date any of them, that's something I won't put up with.
They won't date my daughter because I want her to live.

(This poem was inspired by the "Bonanza" TV show)