Crooked Undertaker
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By randy-johnson
- 374 reads
I owned a funeral parlor and I earned a lot of bread.
I got paid a whole lot of money to cremate the dead.
Each cadaver that I got rid of earned me five hundred grand.
I cremated murder victims and for years I was in high demand.
OJ wanted to hire me.
But he didn't like the million dollar fee.
I always got repeat business from the Mob.
I fried those corpses when I turned the knob.
You'd better believe that when I cremated a body, it was much hotter than a sauna.
I'm extremely surprised that nobody ever wound up hiring me to cremate Madonna.
When I got through burning a corpse, there was never even a trace of evidence.
But the Police broke down my door as I was frying somebody and it was intense.
After being sentenced to fifty years in prison, people nicknamed me 'The Baker'.
If you need to get rid of a corpse, you'll have to call another crooked undertaker.
(This is a fictional poem)
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Comments
This made me smile
This made me smile (particularly the disclaimer at the end!). I had a bit of a problem with the rhythm - I read it out loud and wondered if it would be smoother (and funnier) if you cut down the number of words in some of the lines. But I'm not a poet, so not best placed to offer suggestions! Thanks for the read.
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