My Hairy Ass

Because of my upbringing and education, I'm a man who has substance and class.
But nobody will believe that if they learn that I have a hairy ass.
I have hair sticking out of my butt crack and hair on my butt cheeks.
I'm afraid that this information will be discovered and posted on Wikileaks.
People must never discover my secret, nobody can know.
And if they discover my terrible secret, they will have to go.
Yes you heard me right, when it comes to preserving my secret, I'm prepared to kill.
When it comes to my secret being discovered, I must make certain that it never will.
My sheepdog has less hair on his entire body than I have on and sticking out of my butt.
Don't you dare reveal my secret to people or I'll come to your house and you will get cut.
I have an awesome job that pays over a million dollars each year.
But if people learn about my hairy ass, I can say goodbye to my career.
My wife has agreed to keep my secret but she complains and we bicker.
I shaved it off a couple of times but when it grew back, it was even thicker.
My ass is hairy and my wife looks and smells like Jabba the Hutt.
Nobody can ever know that I have an extremely hairy butt.