The Power Of A Zagnut

I'm sitting in a cell because I kicked a man's sorry butt.
I beat the crap out of him because he stole my Zagnut.
When I inserted a dollar and pushed the buttons on the vending machine, my Zagnut got stuck.
A man put money in the vending machine and got his and my Zagnuts and I was out of luck.
I'm a poor man but he's a man of considerable wealth.
When I asked for my Zagnut, he told me to go f*** myself.
He was nothing but a thief and I wouldn't take his sass.
When he was getting in his limousine, I kicked his ass.
I dragged him out of his limo and I beat that man like I'd never beat a man before.
Now people are calling me a bully because that man only stands three-feet-four.
He is a little person but he turned out to be a jerk.
I opened a can of whoop ass and I went berzerk.
He put his change in the vending machine but he had to stand on a crate to be able to do it.
He stole my Zagnut but when I was through, he had to buy false teeth to be able to chew it.
When I went to court, that little man turned out to be the nephew of the judge.
He threw the book at me, some people sure do know how to hold a grudge.
I'll be in jail for ten years just because that man got battered and bruised.
Please don't ever beat up a little person or you'll end up in my shoes.