Why I Had To Pay On Valentine's Day

My wife became furious because I forgot to buy her some candy and flowers.

The bitch tried to electrocute me with a toaster while I was taking a shower.

She told me to go fuck myself so I told her to go suck a donkey's dick.

And just because of that, the wicked witch of the east became a lunatic.

I happened to see her putting rat poison in my lunch.

I normally won't hit women but I knocked her out with just one punch.

Things got even worse when she called my mother-in-law.

She took her mother's advice and came at me with a chainsaw.

If you're a man, take my advice or your wife will make you pay.

Don't forgot to give her candy and flowers on Valentine's Day.