The Only Thing

How does a lily remain pure
When it must grow in muddy water?

I want to not be swallowed,
Smothered, soiled, extinguished
But I am not so beautiful as the lily
And I live in poison and darkness

When a woman went walking in
To the Scientology Wellness Center
She looked homeless, and unwell
But carried a designer purse;
Perhaps the purse was the only thing
She hadn't yet sold

And I met a child in their paper-pushing penal lineups
Sickened and downcast like the rest of us
But his eyes were as a child's eyes should be
Open and clear of the tragedies of adults
I wished I could make him immortal,
Because it's too late for me; I already belong to them
Unfortunately I had no
Perpetual powers to give him

I tried to forget but the dead leaves all around the pond wouldn't let me
I offered them my soul for their silence
But my soul refuses to sever from my consciousness, and so:
There was no deal-
They haunted me day and night

Why does the lily taunt me
Untainted in the mundane muck?

I went to work in jeans so old
They can hardly cling to living hips
Thinned-out knees begging for stillness
And a lack of tension
The button replaced once already,
The zipper rusting
I went to work in a t-shirt for a musician I don't even like
And mismatched socks I hadn't changed in days
I went to work and I wore a splendid necklace,
On which I have received many compliments in my time

I wear a lot of jewelry because it gives me courage
But that day the necklace seemed as the cultist's purse
It was the only thing about myself
I had not yet insulted

I felt its comforting weight on my collarbone
And waited, weighted, until the time was right-
I worked and I wore it and I waited, wearing it to work for its weight
Choice by choice, day by day, adapting until
I was a splendid inside as I was shabby in dress
And I saw one beautiful thing on everyone I met
Sometimes a scarf or bracelet; sometimes kindness or courage
I opened my eyes; I saw

And then the leaves whispered to me what to do
The lily was a liar; a symbol of mourning
I knelt in the water and
Replaced her with the lotus of knowledge
I have seen my mind's fate; I shall tell the boy
Someday, when he loses a pet hamster or frog to time
And becomes in one way an adult:
"We are all immortal".