Eighty Proof

By Reid Laurence

Fri, 25 Nov 2011
  • 483 reads
1 comments
 

Take the flask
Out from my pocket
As it were
Some golden locket
What's the point
If I've forgot it

Killing me
Slow death you see
Can't say why
I'm drowning she
Adored me once
But since has gone
A tell-tale sign
Of something wrong

And now I too
Am lost to you
To live inside
A bottle who
Mistakenly
Has taken me
And drained me of
Fidelity

The past I see
One big mistake
And drink my life
For her fair sake

Certificate U
Drama

Comments

Submitted by Parson Thru on
Hi Reid. I like the deeply personal message of this. I sometimes struggle with the balance of getting a rhyme and getting the right 'feel' or the right words I suppose. I think the last 2 lines of your first verse are a bit like that. Maybe the rhyme itself isn't as important as the feel or the message. I like it though - very honest.

Parson Thru