Unlike Poles Attract

Unlike Poles Attract

Laura entered the lunchtime staff room like a breath of fresh air, attracting the usual suppressed glances of admiration from everyone, except Colin that is. Colin did what he always did; picked up the Times Ed' Sup', blushed and pretended he hadn't noticed her. The truth of the matter, however, was that he'd been anxiously awaiting her arrival and had convinced himself, yet again, that today was the day when he would actually pluck up the courage.

Colin couldn't do emotion but could do embarrassment on an epic scale. He'd tried on so many occasions to express his inner feelings and had failed miserably. Perhaps it was being Head of Physics that was the problem, because, after all, scientists were not renowned for emotional outpourings. He had often wondered whether his choice of subject had actually been responsible for his pathetic emotional dysfunction, but deep down he had always blamed his parents. Colin's parents would have had Oliver Cromwell arrested for aggravated hedonism.

Laura was an artist of some repute, radiantly attractive, effusive in manner and popular with everyone; especially the salivating sixth form boys in her A Level Art class. If she was conscious of her irresistible attributes she didn't show it, but conducted her life with a carefree easiness which endeared her to everyone. Having poured herself a coffee over by the sink unit, Laura looked around the packed staffroom for a free chair and spotting one next to Colin, bewitchingly slid into it. Colin slowly began to glow, like an over stoked pot bellied stove and tried desperately to bury his embarrassment behind the Times Ed' Sup'. Laura gave no indication that she'd noticed Colin's chemical transformation.

'I hope you're not thinking of leaving us Colin?' she teased.

'Just keeping up to speed with the comings and goings of our noble profession,' replied Colin, carefully expanding the supplement to cover as much of his glowing countenance as possible.

'Are you feeling OK, you look a bit flushed, a sort of burnt umber?'

'Yes, I'm fine thanks. It's always a bit overheated in here, don't you think?

Laura's reply was interrupted by the bell which signalled the start of the afternoon session.

'Here we go again guys.' quipped Ted Lawson the maths guru as he strode past. 'Let battle commence.'

The room slowly began to empty as staff members dispersed to all corners of the building, many with less than obvious enthusiasm. Colin, totally and utterly disgusted with himself, trudged down the corridor towards his sad little fiefdom, the Physics Lab. His courage had failed him yet again.

'What sort of useless pillock are you? Even when you get the opportunity you don't take it,' chided a voice from behind.

Colin spun round to face Ted Lawson who was quickly approaching with a broad grin on his face.

'What are you talking about?' responded Colin with feeble conviction. 'Didn't take what opportunity?'

'Look mate, the whole bloody school can see that you've got the hots for our gorgeous art mistress and it's quite obvious she quite fancies you too, although I'm buggered if anyone knows why.'

'Oh God! Ted, it's not that obvious is it?'

'Obvious! I thought you were going to burst into flames when she came in and sat next to you. You two should be at it like rabbits by now, what's the matter with you, you don't bat for the other side do you?'

'I can't pluck up the courage to bat for anybody Ted. I was just quietly crawling back to my den.'

'Look Colin, will you please ask her out for a drink or something and put us all out of our misery. Jack Wallace is opening a book and taking bets on the most unlikely coupling in the universe.'

'It's not as if I haven't thought about it Ted. I've even bought tickets for the new exhibition at the Tate. Do you think she would accept if I asked? If she turned me down I think I would spontaneously combust on the spot.'

Ted laughed and slapped Colin on the back, clearly enjoying the situation. 'She's gorgeous, unattached and for some reason unknown to science seems weirdly attracted to you. Now do something about it before she finds somebody interesting.'

The shock news that everybody seemed to know and that Laura was apparently interested in him too had taken a huge weight from Colin's shoulders.

'Thanks, Ted, I will. You can find Jack Wallace and put a fiver on it.'

With a sudden spring in his step, Colin entered his lab and walked over to his desk. Sitting down he noticed a white sealed envelope had been placed there and with some curiosity, tore it open. Inside were two tickets for the new exhibition at the Tate, accompanied by a note written in an unmistakeably artistic flourish. It read..'Like poles repel, unlike poles attract, so see me after school, Laura.'