Mother Bird

By seafret

Mon, 06 Sep 2010
  • 1563 reads
7 comments
 

I want to smooth you in honey and syrup,
Pat your pain away with feathered wings,
Embed you in a nest of my making,
Lined with scraps of velvet and silk.

I want to feed you sunsets and dewdrops
Until you’re refilled with beauty.
I’ll send my breath into you and draw out with it all your bad humours.
I’ll fill you with tinctures, cleanse your soul.

If you'll let me?

Certificate U
Poem
Autobiography

Comments

Submitted by maggyvaneijk on
I like the imagery of a nurturing mother bird, I could also imagine a comparison to a child, taking care of a wounded bird they found in their garden. The question at the end, adds a politeness, a thoughtfulness. Nice touch.

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on
I think the first stanza is really good. I'm not sure the last line needs a question mark though

 

Submitted by seafret on
Thank you, maggy! I was writing from the perspective of an adult just desperately wanting to save someone from their own sorrow, but love that you have seen a different viewpoint. Insert...I thought a lot about the question mark too, in fact I had a series of questions at the end. (Scrapped most of them!) This is a new poem, and I might have to play around with it some more. Thank you for your comments, please keep them coming.

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
Hi seafret, There's nothing like a mothers love, you word it so well. Enjoyed this poem. Jenny.

 

Submitted by Kahdai on
This is so lovely, all the descriptions! Is the title a song? K

"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "

Submitted by seafret on
Thanks Kahdai. I'm working on writing the response of the object of the mothering! It's much bleaker... From my side the title is not a song. But may exist somewhere in the world.

Submitted by Kahdai on
Good, look forward to read the other side :) K

"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "