10 Things You'll Never See In "NEWSWEEK" or CNN

1.) Adolf Hitler was first a talented and successful painter, then a draft-dodger and only when caught and FORCED to bear a rifle, did he become a militant and charismatic sociopath. The Weimar German democracy greatly preferred the latter character.

2.) Thomas Jefferson was born and remained a MASSIVELY wealthy slave-owner and never had to really prove himself or deal with life's harsher realities... thus never understood why people are not all equal and why nothing is exactly inalienable... except free sp ($$$cut$$$)

3.) "Walden" is a book full of pompous, neurotic prissy junk. Thoreau was a repressed gay guy who wrote erotic poems about young men... and also some better prose like "Walking"

4.) Shakespeare, one of my favorite writers, was also bi-sexual; Nobody writes numerous inspired sonnets about attractive young men for abstract artistic reasons. So is one of my favorite song-writers Michael Stipe.

5.) Politicians in democracies are a lot like movie actors: the U.S.A. could actually be run more productively if Hollywood and Washington D.C. were switched(the acting would be better, though still terrible, and there wouldn't be so many ackward gaffes.) If I'm going to have to see somebody's virtual face ten times a day: I'd prefer DeCaprio or Samuel Jackson.

6.) Some Americans say there's no money in the creative arts: they have it confused. All sorts of mediocre painters and novelists are multi-millionaires. What there isn't any money in is outspoken honesty. A quiet but ethical person can sometimes hold a job at a university or a bank... provided that they drink heavily every time they feel their conscience surging. "For every king a crown"

7.) Oswald actually did shoot Kennedy; he was a fantastic sniper and it was a clear shot from eighty yards. Probably he acted alone, but the Kennedy Administration was hiring assasins by the boat-load to take out Castro while their C.I.A. was using weird chemical processes to keep rain from falling on Cuba, and involving us in the Vietnam War. There's some possibility that the evil, atheistic Cuban government was involved in Kennedy's martyrdom and ascension to heaven.

8.) America's persecution of recreational drug-users has led to a situation where 10s of millions don't trust the police: thus dealing with violent crime, etc., has become very difficult. By the way, LSD is way more illegal than meth. Many flower children, having abused their freedoms, have now become greedy corporate conformists. Heil Hitler

9.) The U.S.A. has, depending on the source, either the highest or 2nd highest per-capita of their population behind bars, and that doesn't count the millions on probation who can't even freely move from town to town or choose their own friends.

10.) In general and on the whole, Arabs everywhere are about as civilized and peaceful as people are anywhere; If many are rather upset, it's because amazingly, despite all the fantastic civilization in the Western World(I mean who could do without U-Boats, COORS, and MTV?,) they don't see their countries as democracies-in-progress.