Dis-ease

First impressions are often frail and give me jitters. Like a whale
in a tank, I want to go home. All the pretty girls signed my yearbook
and said they looked forward to reading my first novel but I feel like
a novelty and things are heavy here about my heart. The thumping of a
racquetball against a wall is all. I thumb through my cranial volumes
but can't find anything that adds up to four. As a child, I used to
laugh at silly things but soon I learned to hate.