THE ONE IN THE NEST

Gold cherry
Poem of the week

By seashore

Mon, 08 Feb 2016
  • 10943 reads
39 comments
 

 

If you were my daughter I'd weep,

watching you stumble and fall

down the corridor -

a constant stream of drool

oozing from your slack, open mouth

your hair matted, clothes stained

 

catatonic, mute -

only your eyes,

bulging, staring - slowly

swivel in my direction, beseeching

help me, help me -

 

your arms reach out,

but because I do not know you

I peel you off...

and wave goodbye

 

Later, helpless and alone

behind closed doors,

I remember

you were once my daughter

 

And I weep.

 

 

Certificate 12
Poem
seashore
Love

Comments

Submitted by blackjack-davey on

shocking the levels of estrangement, a powerful piece

 

Submitted by seashore on

Thank you for describing this as "powerful".  Appreciate your comment.

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Firstly can I say how good it is to read your work again seashore.

This is a very sad poem, to watch someone deteriorate in such a cruel way must leave a person feeling so helpless. Your detailed, poetic description shows this.

A poingnant read indeed.

I do hope you are well.

Jenny.

  

 

Submitted by seashore on

Thanks Jenny.  My daughter has been in psychiatric 'care' for over a year now and ill for a long time before that - hence the writer's block.  Time to force something out!  Believe me I'm anything but hard-hearted as it may seem.  Do hope all's well with you and yours - good to see you're still around, and writing I hope.

Submitted by Bee on

So powerful and simply heartbreaking. I wept too. Nothing hard hearted in your poem - it's like standing aside and seeing and actually being at the same time. 

Bee

Submitted by seashore on

Thank you, thank you, Bee.

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

I'm so sorry to hear this seashore, my thoughts go out to you.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

this sucked me straight into the nightmare. Sickeningly vivid and very very real (I know all about the 'care' and wish I didn't). Please try to write more. It's a hidden world and not any better for that. Lovely to see you again, but I'm so sorry to hear the reason for your absence xx

 

Submitted by seashore on

Thanks so much insert. Yes I remember...

Thanks for the cherries - very unexpected.

Submitted by Nolan on

Honestly, it cannot be as bad as this. May be a century ago yes, however as far as your own experience and feelings go, these are very real, and indeed you must feel completely helpless and heartbroken.

My best wishes. Nolan &&

 

Submitted by seashore on

Oh believe me, there is no exaggeration in the poem - it really is this bad. I have an official complaint pending to the relevant NHS Trust so am fighting back.

Thanks Nolan, for reading and for your good wishes.

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

This poem deserves to have as wide an audience as possible which is why it's our Facebook and Twitter Pick of the Day!

Get a fantastic reading recommendation everyday

 

Submitted by seashore on

A big thank you for pick of the day, insert.  It means a lot on many levels.

Submitted by tcook on

I appreciate this poem. It is true that sometimes you have to experience it to be able to state it - and it is the sharing of this terrible time that will help others - and may even help you. Thank you for the effort it must have taken to write this down - and for the skill with which you have done so.

Submitted by seashore on

Thank you, Tony.  I've wondered for a long time if I would ever write again, but suddenly there it was, and it has released a lot of emotion that I was struggling to deal with.  Regards, Coral

Submitted by airyfairy on

Jolted into tears by this, and glad that you are able to write it.  From the heart to the heart.

Submitted by seashore on

Many thanks for reading and feeling a bit of what I'm feeling, airyfairy.

Submitted by london_calling79 on

Stark and direct. I felt every word. Congratulations on a very well deserved pick.

 

Submitted by seashore on

Glad to hear it hit hit the spot. It's been a long time coming...thanks.

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

So very moving.

Submitted by seashore on

Thank you Philip Sidney.

Submitted by love_writing on

Absolutely heartbreaking, I have a huge lump in my throat. Well done on writing this very moving and emotive piece x

love_writing

Submitted by seashore on

Thanks so much for reading and responding, love_writing.  

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Coral...lost for words. You had them all...and somesmiley  My thoughts with you.

Tina

 

Submitted by seashore on

Tina - I have "lurked" occasionally and read a few of yours - your writing gets better and better.  

I knew I should be writing about all this but was beginning to think it would never happen, ever.  Now it has, it's giving me strength to do battle with the system...or at least try.

Thanks for the thoughts and comments.  Coral x

Submitted by VeraClark on

What a painful, powerfully conveyed piece.

 

Submitted by seashore on

VeraClark - feedback much appreciated. 

Submitted by torscot on

 

A late visit to this sad read seashore.  It takes me back to your Dec 2010 story " I couldn't bear for you to be cold"

ps    I'm glad to see you on abc again.

regards and take care 

 

torscot

Submitted by seashore on

torscot,  if you remember my 2010 poem - have you changed your name?  Checked your profile but no obvious clues other than your writing is post-2010, though from a quick glance there's something  very familiar about your style...I won't say anymore.  Yes you are quite right (and thanks for remembering that earlier poem)  this is yet another chapter in the same daughter's illness, long story...  

Haven't managed anything creative for almost three years and I'm not exactly on a roll, but huge relief to get this out. 

Many thanks and regards to you too.

(I tthink the clue might be in the new name...).

 

Submitted by torscot on

Dear seashore. I have indeed changed from old scozen to torscot ( highland roots still attached).

Anyway, leaving that aside, I do wish your daughter a speedy recovery and I hope you are still dipping into your water colour skills.

Take care.

ps  An art site you may find of interest. The Flatland Gallery, based in Amsterdam worthy of a quick online peak

torscot

Pages