Dangerous Dog

Dangerous Dog

I went and bought a dog last week,
I got him for a pound,
I just showed up at the rescue place,
And left with this ugly hound.

The girl said she'd taught him many new tricks
She was sorry to lose him as well,
Take him on trial, she said with a smile,
Any problems just give us a bell.

So I took the beast home and left him alone,
Assuring myself he'd be fine,
He was obviously badly in need of a home,
Cause he shortly began eating mine.

He ate tables and chairs my new kitchen wares,
And took a monster size bites from my telly.
I had fifty C.Ds and the best part of these,
All ended up in his belly.

My guitar and amp, a small table lamp,
And my printer I wanted to sell.
My bankcards and cash all went in a flash,
And my gold fish was eaten as well.

I arrived home that night to the terrible sight,
Of debris and mess everywhere,
And that ugly great hound that I bought for a pound,
Chewing away at a chair.

The beast grabbed my leg as made to escape,
And ripped it away at the hip,
Then he chomped on my wrist as I tried to resist,
But I gave the great monster the slip

That's Ironic I thought what else was he taught,
Perhaps he'll roll over and beg,
I've just bought a hound for the sum of one pound,
But it's cost me an arm and a leg!