EBOLOWA 38
By simonmiller15
- 1830 reads
A much revised version of EBOLOWA will be on sale in book shops and online at Unbound.com.
Details to follow as and when.
many thanks meantime to readers at ABC
and good luck.
simon
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Comments
I'm a newcomer to this story
I'm a newcomer to this story and just dipped in by chance, but I really enjoyed this part and I shall definitely go back and read the rest. The tension is well done, especially with the airport official. Very intrigued to know how we got here!
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Catching up with myself now..
Catching up with myself now...
Beth Palmer morphed into Beth Anderson at one point.
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Fitz blushing - don't need
Fitz blushing - don't need rest pf sentence. Blushing says it.
'Well he's...' Needs capital W.
Having never broken sound barrier...' Don't understand.
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Fitz blushing - don't need
Fitz blushing - don't need rest pf sentence. Blushing says it.
'Well he's...' Needs capital W.
Having never broken sound barrier...' Don't understand.
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Ist para - 'head high' bit
Ist para - 'head high' bit cliched. And would she not be going over last night's eventsa in her head. Liked the last sentence.
O like Fitz and her clothing.
'Well,' not 'well'
The piece where Fitz calls Candace by her name works.
Customes search good, esp dialogue and like the explanation for delay.
Not sure I understand last few sentences.
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