Full Circle In The Wheel Of Life Part Six

Jacob stood numb with shock, the news hit him like a bombshell. He wondered how this woman could possibly be his Mum. The chain of events that led up to this moment were wrong to Jacob. “Why would my adopted parents tell me Mum died in childbirth? Why did you have to kidnap me?” The boy felt he'd been told so many lies.

 

As Lilly carefully plumped Rita's pillows raising her head up slightly so she could see better, she turned to Jacob and explained. “I don't know why your parents would lie to you, but we had to bring you here fast, it was critical...a matter of life and death and we weren't sure William and Monica would agree to letting you come.” Gazing down at Rita, she brushed the woman's hair back with her fingers. “Now you get comfortable sis, I'll leave you two alone to get to know each other.” Lilly went to get a chair from the far side of the room, placing it beside the bed for the boy to sit down. “I'm your Aunt Lilly by the way – Rita and I are sisters, so you've another family if you ever need us.”

 

Jacob sat down staring at Lilly unsure of what to say. He couldn't see himself getting attached to these people, they were so far removed from what he was used to. As he watched the woman leave the room, he turned when he heard his Mother's voice.

 

“Hello Jake – it's nice to finally meet you.” Rita whispered weakly, forcing a smile and understanding the boy's reluctance to believe what he'd just heard. “I'm so sorry our first meeting had to be such a sad and uncomfortable experience,” Rita took a couple of breaths finding it hard to speak. “But I want you to know I always thought about you over the years and wondered how you were getting on.”

 

Jacob was missing his brothers and didn't understand how he was supposed to feel in this situation. “If you are my real Mum, then why did you abandon me?” Jacob was fed up of being held in the dark about the people in his life. “Why! Now ? I'm doing fine where I am.”

 

Rita had so much she wanted to share with Jacob, but knew she didn't have much time. “Jake! My boy – I'm so sorry. It's been so rough for me over these years.” She could hardly get the words out for lack of energy. Her voice was becoming croaky as tears filled her eyes. “You see son, I was hooked on heroine.” She panicked when she saw her son's shocked face. “But I promise I never did the drug when I was carrying you – honestly!” Jacob's expression made her anxious as she continued. “Feeling so alone when I had you, your Father didn't want to know and I never did discover where he went.” Tears began to fill her eyes once again, trickling down her cheeks. “Can I have some tissues Jake? I'm getting myself in such a state.”

 

Jacob took some hankies from a box beside her bed and wiped her face gently. Taking some more tissues, Rita blew her nose and tried to act more calm as she continued. “I never wanted to give you up – truthfully, it tore me apart when the nurses took you from me. But with the help of my sister Lilly and other family members, I tried to get my life back in order, but the dreaded heroine continued to haunt me, I just went back to the drug and couldn't stop after I had you.”

 

Jacob could see the track marks and bruises down her arms, hardly believing she was his flesh and blood, that he was born from a drug addict. “Why would you take heroine in the first place?” He asked, not understanding why anyone would want to become a drug addict.

 

His Mum remembered the first time, it felt like only yesterday. “Son, I was just seventeen and very naive. I met my first real boyfriend at a house party, his name was Gary. We went out together quite a few times after that first meeting. One day he took me round to his mates house. The parents were out, so we went up to his mates bedroom and that was where I had my first experience. It was all so daring and out of this world, I couldn't wait for the next fix. As time went by I wanted more, it was all I was living for.” Rita's expression then changed. “But then one day, for no reason Gary finished our relationship and told me he'd had enough and was leaving home. I asked him where he was going, but he wouldn't tell me. He just kept saying that it was over. That was the last time I saw him.”

 

Rita reached out to the boy, wanting to feel his touch one last time. “Give me your hands son, I've missed out on so much.”

 

Jacob still wasn't sure. Her hands were the color blue, the veins prominent on the skin, liver spots made him feel uncomfortable. Jacob tried to juggle all the thoughts going round in his head, there were so many he was finding it hard to think straight.

 

There was a pitcher of water on the bedside table, the boy needed a drink his mouth was so dry. “Could I have some of that water please?” He licked his lips in anticipation.

 

“Of course you can son!” Replied Rita weakly. “Help yourself.”

 

Jacob found it strange, this woman calling him son. He didn't want to use the glass Rita had been drinking from, thinking he might catch what she had. Picking up the pitcher he took a swig, the water was refreshing and cooling. “Would you like some water too?” He asked Rita, feeling it was the right thing to do.

 

She forced a smile and replied. “Just a drop Jake, I can't swallow too much.”

 

Jacob put the glass to her lips as she lifted her head slightly. The woman took one sip, that was enough. Putting the glass back on the bedside table, he continued to question her. “So! Tell me, how did you meet my Father? What happened between you that he left?”

 

Rita was getting very tired, but managed to carry on, her voice jerky, low and rasping. “Your Father's name was Mike, he had dark, long hair and was quite tall and handsome in his leather jacket and jeans.” She remembered how much she adored him. “He could be quite demanding, expecting me to be at his beck and call, but as long as I was compliant he was fine. We met at the Bull Dog, a local pub I used to go to, he was up on the stage playing guitar in a band called the Snake Drives. I started going to their gigs regularly, it was such fun Jake, we would travel up and down the country and I felt alive for the first time.” She paused, then continued. “One day the band split up over an argument, that was where our relationship ended, Mike said he wanted to travel abroad and see the world, but he didn't want me with him. Before he left, I found out I was pregnant and told him. He got mad and told me he didn't want to be tied down with a child – it was all so typical of him, I should have seen it coming but turned a blind eye.”

 

Jacob felt sad that his Father had been so cruel and was beginning to understand things a lot better now. “I'm sorry Mum, I wish there was a way of finding out where he went. It must have been awful for you to have to cope alone.”

 

Rita's eyes narrowed as she lay motionless, hardly able to speak anymore. Jacob felt the gloom crashing in around him as she started to utter words again. “Son! All you need to know is – that I'm dying. I just had to speak to you one last time and ask for your forgiveness. I'm just sorry it had to be like this.”

 

Jacob bowed his head. The feelings he felt for this woman who he'd discovered was his Mum, felt so different from the bonds he formed with his adopted parents. Here he felt disorientated and adrift, stuck in a strange situation he wanted to run away from, but couldn't.

 

The bedside clock ticked away in the silence. Jacob needed to think, so his gaze took him around the room. Old wallpaper peeled off the walls leaving gaps of bear plaster. An old fashioned wardrobe and dressing table stood behind the door, spiders webs attached themselves to the corners of the ceiling. Jacob didn't mind spiders but hated the webs that clung. The boy thought it was a miserable place and he wanted to get up and go, but for some reason he couldn't move, this harried woman had left him mesmerized.

 

Just at that moment Lilly walked in with a drink and some biscuits, breaking the silence. She immediately perceived the gloomy atmosphere and felt she needed to put her own feelings to one side. “Here you go Jake! I've made you a hot tea. Are you okay sitting here?”

 

The boy lied. “Yeah! I'm fine – but I need to phone my parents, tell them I'm okay.”

 

Lilly felt they'd got away with kidnapping the boy pretty well, but she knew the police would be coming soon, they couldn't elude them for much longer with William and Monica knowing her address that Sylvie had given them. But at least! Thought Lilly, the police would take the responsibility of getting the boy home out of her hands. For now Jacob should be with his Mum who was declining fast. “You'll be back with your parents soon enough Jake, just stay awhile longer with your Mum, talk to her, let her know you forgive her – that's all she wants from you.”

 

The boy stared once again at the fading woman, her dark hair like his but so fine he thought it might just fall out at any moment. He'd never seen anyone die before, it was all so much to take in. Her gaunt face hollowed with the intricate aging lines across her forehead and around her cheeks. Jacob thought she looked about a hundred years old, but of course he supposed it was the drugs. Taking a sip of the tea it was too hot, so he gave it to Lilly to hold.

 

She winked at the boy. “Go on! Tell your Mum you love and forgive her.” She uttered, bending down and whispering in his ear.

 

Jacob realizing that this was her final wishes felt such a remorse. He took Rita's fragile hands this time, the little flesh she had felt cold to the touch but the skin was smooth. “Mum! I want to tell you something.” He stroked her palm as he spoke.

 

“Yes son!” Rita coughed as she tried to communicate, the words hardly audible. “You're a good lad.” She could feel her heartbeat getting weaker and knew the end was getting close as her eyesight started to fade.

 

“Mum! I now understand why you had to let me go.” The boy felt suddenly choked, as if he had a lump in his throat. “I wish I could have got to know you.” Suddenly without warning uncontrollable tears welled up in his eyes. He wiped away the haze with some tissues from the box. Laying his head down on the coverlet of her bed still holding her hands, he wept like he never had before.

 

“Jacob! My boy, come closer” she whispered, using all her energy to squeeze his hands.

 

Lifting his head Jacob came nearer as she murmured in his ear. “I have something to give you, so you will remember me.” She pointed to her dresser. “In the top drawer, there is a photo of me holding you, it's the only photo I have of us. It's yours to keep.”

 

Lilly led the boy over to the dresser and opened the drawer, there on the top of an album was a photo of a woman sat up in a hospital bed, smiling and holding a baby. Jacob gazed at the photo thinking it looked nothing like the woman lying in this bed now, she looked a lot plumper, but obviously the drugs had done a lot of damage.

 

Walking back over to the bed he sat back down on the chair. Lilly held a corner of the photo. “I was with your Mum when she had you, I took that photo just before they took you away.” She nodded her head and tutted. “Such a sad case of affairs.”

 

Rita's eyes opened slightly, as she looked into Jacob's, but this time it was as if she were looking past him, an expression of anticipation of the end. A slight twinkle appeared in the dying woman's eyes, and her mouth wrinkled into a slight smile, before she closed her eyes for the very last time and she was gone.

 

Jacob knew without being told that she'd held onto life waiting for his visit. He took his hand back and rested her's on the quilt cover. “I want to leave this room,” he said taking a breath, but needing fresh air.

 

“Of course!” Replied Lilly. “You've made her passing a lot easier.” Lilly knew this was going to be a very long day, but she needed to concentrate on Jacob before she could think of her own sorrow and taking care of Rita's body.

 

The End.