A Garden of Secrets ( Part Two )

By skinner_jennifer

Sun, 22 May 2011
  • 1352 reads
4 comments
 

A cloud of Gnats hovered around,
a scurry of Mice on the ground...
as Moths take flight...they
hear my sound,

Grasshoppers I did hear...
as large black Hornet Flies
buzz round my ear,
Mosquitos become too much for me...
as bites on my skin I can see,

do I really want to change this scene...
this beautiful mystery that I've been in?
sometimes I think it's plain to see...
somethings should be left to be.

Certificate U
Poem
Poems
Spiritual

Comments

Submitted by Highhat on
Very descriptive Jenny- I really got a bit of a creepy feeling but the place was described quite beautifully as well. ;)Pia

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
I quite agree with Pia, Jenny;-) It does have rather an eerie feel about it. Just a tiny typo in the second stanza...one of those little blighters I'm afraid;-) Should be 'too much for me'. I like the way you have split this poem. It gives it much greater depth, just like walking into a 'secret garden' in fact, when one is not sure exactly how big it is. The sentiments expressed in the concluding stanza I endorse, wholeheartedly;-) A lovely read. Tina

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
Thankyou for reading Pia, I know what you mean about creepy, which was what I wanted to capture. I suppose it's natures way of saying go away, leave this garden alone. Anyway thanks for the great comment. Jenny.

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
Hi Tina, thankyou for helping me, much appreciated. I'm glad the splitting of the poem into two worked for you, you were right about not really realising how big the garden actually was. Thankyou for reading and commenting. Jenny.