Love minus me.

LOVE MINUS ME.
sunken sneak

Daylight tapping on the windows,
as unconsciousness prepares -
to propel me, without warning,
in to the stuff of my nightmares.
Spending every single minute -
untying every stomach knot,
whilst explaining my existence -
on a joke that no one got?

Based on anything but reason,
turning feelings inside out.
Leaving therapists and doctors -
revaluating doubt.
It is not easy to be open -
when your past is held in place -
by a liquefied outsider -
that relates to your disgrace.
And all I have are token gestures,
and all I want is? never mind.
We are love minus the kisses,
we are hopelessly confined -
to the dreams that visit nightly -
on the breezes of regret.
I am a chemical misjudgement -
on a mind that I don't get.
I sleep with worries welding trouble -
in to the furrow of my brow.
I face tomorrow understanding -
even less than I know now.
Based on anything but reason,
there are no reasons to pursue -
these psychological enquires -
that have led me here to you.