Terracotta

By span

Mon, 24 Mar 2014
  • 603 reads
1 comments
 

 

She carried it back on her lap,
shallow oven proof casserole dish.

On the ferry she chewed bon bons
fishing out toffee from a molar with an index.

Jonathan’s irritated skin was alleviated by olive oil.
Her daughter smelt of treehouses in orchards.

Home, she walked the garden fence,
solar light activated by her bare ankle.

Her mind ticked
she did not know if she liked olives.

She unclicked the shed lock
stepped in, with the dish.

Certificate U
Poem

Comments

Submitted by Frances Macaula... on

OK, I'm intrigued.  Why didn't she take the dish into the kitchen - why the shed.

I understood that she's questioning her life with Jonathan - it's that line: 'Her mind ticked"

Not only did it deliberately end too soon and you began a new line, you also gave the audience distance by using 'did not' instead of 'didn't' which would be more immediate.

I get the clever manipulation but still want to know... perhaps 'she' is reticent about putting the full judgement and final decision on paper for all to see?  

Thanks - as you can see, I enjoyed your writing.

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