Hours

In the hours that you forgot me,
the time I spent alone.
I welcomed any heart, avoiding my own.
Refusing to let me speak to myself,
determined to forget as easily as you.

Wanting to forget something,
not quite knowing how I came to think,
unsure of what it is I forget.
Denying some sort of feeling,
start lying to myself,
unaware of which truth is the lie.

Between us a space,
a passage, to pass through.
To pass by.
Feelings running like Rats,
away from the sinking affection
feigning something like a tear.
To show my feelings.

Finally remebering what I forgot,
why I couldnt remeber,
what it was that hurt.
Nothing came to answer,
noone came to explain.
nothing decided to hurt
noone sought to sadden me,
realising my problem, I fell in love with noone.

Noone thought to reject,
fail to decide or tell.
Alone, for once,
far apart from myself I found something to remeber,
another thing to forget.
Not-one a person, neither a thing.
Occasional memories lost to the vaults
packed away for time.
Locked away for safety.

remembering to forget,
change my mind as easily as always,
or just stop acting on my thoughts.
Leave the world to a whim.
wait for noone to forget the key,
mabye, later, to unlock the memories
the ghosts of the feelings
and see how they are.
Wheter they have whitered,
or if they bloom like a deadly rose.