The Wonky Witch: The End

Chapter Five
A wonky hero.

William ran. She pelted! She raced! Help she said, Help!

The postmaster came running. "What have you DONE?

"I¦.

The postmaster went inside the house. William stood outside, staring at the ground, biting her wonky nails.

Then the police arrived.

William looked paler and paler. She wondered if he would be "alright. It seemed unlikely.

No one came out for hours. Then the postmaster came and found her. "William!"
By this stage she was hiding by the bins outside.
"You're a hero!"
The police had found all sorts of horrible, creepy things" So nasty, it would be against the law to write them down. You'll just have to imagine them.

"You've saved us all! You will be honoured with services to the city. Now said the Postmaster,
"I am going to give you a feast.
A wonky one.

So they found some three legged chairs, and a wobbly table, and everyone ate with bent knives and forks, and had wonky sausages and had wonky flavoured ice cream afterwards.

The postmaster got up to give a speech. He was rather red in the face.

"From now on, all my postmen will wear their hats all skewed. And their moustaches will never be symmetrical. And they will drive in zigzags every day. In short, the post office system will wonk.

"Are you sure that that's a good idea? said William.

But no one was listening.

"I'm entirely sure that wonkiness is simply the most essential ingredient of any good postal system.

From that day on, the whole postal system did become quite wonky. Infact, the city became almost top turvy. People went the long route to work, and people started knocking into things, as a matter of civic pride and tradition. The carpenters of the city became famous all over the world, for producing amazing chairs and tables, that all had the wrong number of legs, and everyone rushed to buy them. All the towers were built at odd angles, and even the time, ticked unevenly, according to the clock in the main square.
Everyone insisted on wearing a different size of shoe on each foot, and bicycles always had different sized wheels.
In fact, the worst insult you hear in the city was
"That looks rather straightforward.
Or "How very plain. Not a wonk in sight.
People even broke their own noses to fit in with the great tradition of wonkiness, and to celebrate the capture of the rogue Silverkrunk.

And in all the wonking, no one ever asked William to go to school.

And in the evenings, she took her mop, and lay, floating in the night sky, listening to the stars, with Albert, her cat.