Reminiscing part 2

 

Well here it is ladies, part two of

Reminiscing

 

 

The late nineties’ had been a bad time what with loosing Bert and everything. I’d still think of Bert as him, even though I now know it never was.

The house seemed so big and lonely without Bert, I had felt lost in it, every time I turned around I expected to see Bert, sometimes I’d cry.

Things improved with the end of the nineties I still missed Bert, but the house held so many memories that meant so much to me…. but life has to go on, so I put it up for sale.

The new century was a new start for me the old house was sold and I moved into a smaller one in a nice quiet neighbourhood. Spent almost the whole year decorating and doing the garden; it helped take my mind off Bert.

New neighbours moved in, in good time for Christmas, they seem very nice but a bit reserved, a young couple expecting their first, that’s what Derek, that’s his name told me. He also said Liana, that’s his wife, has been having it rough, and that she’s been in hospital a lot the last months, I supposed that was possibly why I hadn’t  see her much.

There was snow at Christmas that year; I must admit it, I was lonely. I only got two cards, one from Derek and Liana, and one from Mr and Mrs Williams the couple who look after the cottage for me in Cornwall.

2001 came, and it brought more snow with it; I didn’t go out much as I don’t like driving in snow. Derik did a little shopping for me; he seemed very nice. He told me Liana hadn’t been too well, so like me they had a quiet Christmas, Just her mother and father and Derik’s father. Apparently he’s a widower. 

February started warm and wet, and I had been woken in the early hours, when they took Liana away in an ambulance so I expected the baby was on the way. That morning I started looking out my knitting needles and seeing what wool I could find, pink or blue.

It was a week later when they brought Liana home, but no one came around to say what the baby was. I didn’t complain. Derek was a decent enough bloke most of the time. Always wished me the time of day in the street or the Post Office where we would stop for a little chat. He let me borrow his strimmer to do the edges of the lawn, do a bit of shopping for me. But, well, I thought he could have let me know if it was a boy or a girl.

I didn’t know how long it would have been until they told me. But it was the second week in February when I saw her mother at the post office, and well we got to talking. I hadn’t known what was wrong and when I did know, well I can understand Derek and Liana not wanting to talk.

At first I had thought that Liana was a standoffish sort of person with her never saying hello when Derek and I were having a chat over the garden fence. Just her personality I had thought. Possibly shyness or something, but once I knew about their problem’s well I realised I was wrong.

I felt so upset at the time. I knew Bert and me with our marriage could never have had children, always accepted that, though I never could understand….well never mind.

Apparently they had been told three or four months earlier that there was a problem and how serious it was, but to lose a baby just three days old. I could have cried for them.

Liana came that same afternoon; her mother had told her that we had met and had a coffee together, and that she had told me. I had misjudged her; she’s nothing like I had assumed. Once I had made a cup of tea for us she told me rather tearfully how they had found a serious problem with the baby’s brain development, and if she had lived she would have been severely disabled, possibly unable to see hear or speak, or even all three. Laura they had called her. They had her christened at the hospital.

  I went to the funeral on the following Tuesday. I feel so sorry for them. I had a little weep putting the wool away.

I suppose as funerals for a baby can go, it was…. well I cried. The coffin was so small, white with little pink roses, Derek carried the coffin and Liana walked with him. I wasn’t the only one crying.

It was then that I met Derek’s father, I could see who he was even be for we were introduced, so like Derek. Not quite as tall, slim, and with hair that was an unusual shade of grey, almost blue. Talking to him I found he was a similar age to me.  It was later that Liana told me that he had lost his wife about a year before I lost Bert.

It was the middle of March when I finally had a proper talk with Derek, the funeral well it seemed to have hit him harder than Liana, or she’s handling it better. He seemed really down, we talked about my Bert, I didn’t tell him about…. Well you know what; but I think it helped. He spoke more afterwards, opened up a bit, I told him to see about a holiday.

 I told him about the cottage in Cornwall, and how we had some wonderful holidays there. I still had that cottage. It was later thinking about it, well it had been been nearly three years since Bert and I last used it. It was then that I decided that I should have a run down there see about cleaning it up and making it presentable. I considered even renting it out; as a little money coming in at that time would be useful.

I spent a lovely Sunday afternoon at the beginning of April around at Derek and Liana’s,, really warm it was  for April we ate out in the garden. Liana’s mother and father were there along with Derek’s father. It was only then that I found that William, I forgot to mention earlier, that’s Derek’s father’s name, had retired early to look after his ailing wife. It was after dinner and looking over the fence at my garden that we found that we both had a love of gardening, with my roses bringing several compliments. In all I had a really nice day.

Late April that year had brought the showers, an extra heavy one forced me into Costa, Standing in the queue I felt a tap on my shoulder and a voice said, I thought it was you. It was Derek’s father. The rain had driven him into the shop just like me. We had quite a long chat, him telling me about his work at a large school and his wife. Strange she died of exactly the same cancer as Bert. I didn’t say what cancer Bert had died of.  When the rain finally stopped I was sorry to go. Sitting across from him, I must admit, I had been rather fascinated by his eyes, as I have said, grey the same shade as his hair, most unusual.

It became a regular Wednesday morning coffee in Costa, either with Lianas mother or Derek’s father, and sometimes Lianas father as well. We talk about lots of things. With them talking about their children at school or later at collage, or work. As Bert and I never had children, I mostly listen.

It was at one of these coffee mornings that I told them about the cottage and the wonderful times we had there, Derek’s father was fascinated, he told me that visiting Cornwall had been something he and Mary, his wife had always wanted to do, but never got around to, and as he said, now it was too late.  

It was in the month of May, the very merry silly month of May, when I did something very silly. I told William that I was going down to the cottage the following week, and, well I invited him down to see Cornwall…. Worse still…. he said yes.

It was that same evening that I had a phone call from Mrs Williams asking about the cottage, and if I would be coming down if only to inspect it. I told her I had been thinking about having a run down to see it. She seemed quite pleased when I told them I had planned it for the following week.

During the week before we went to Cornwall, we had a little giggle over the planning, as William hadn’t told Derek. He said he wanted to see if they put one and one together and make three.

Our drive down to Cornwall was better than I had expected, it was just three hours from door to door.

I had been rather nervous all the way down, about what William was thinking, but it turned out he was distracted by the scenery, so that left me with only one other worry, two of us alone at night. 

That afternoon we walked into the village and, well I found William couldn’t get enough of it. What with the harbour and the boats. William pulled a pipe from his pocket and pointed with it at a large sailing boat. I had never smelt a trace of tobacco smoke on him and I was curious so I asked him. He was laughing as he told me he has never smoked, but a pipe caught the attention of the students when he was lecturing them, and the stem, well it is handy for pointing with.

I must admit, that that first night I was more than a little nervous as we had supper, but William was the perfect gentleman, going to his room as soon as we had finished washing the supper things with just a good night before going to his room.

William was a perfect companion over that weekend. A perfect gentleman, and I didn’t know whether to feel upset or not, but he did say that he hoped that this wasn’t going to be the first and last time he would visit Cornwall. I decided then that I might just ask him again, there I admit it; I had enjoyed his company.

I dreaded our next regular Wednesday morning at Costas. Yes I was asked about Cornwall by Lianas Father and said I had enjoyed my short break there, while William. Well William just said he had visited somewhere he had always wanted to visit, and had found it fascinating and hoped to visit again. He then to my relief changed the subject to the work Lianas Father was doing.

June came and that year Liana and Derek went for two weeks at the cottage, Mrs Williams let the cat out of the bag about Derek’s father. She rang and told me herself that same night, I said it didn’t matter as we had never been asked so we had just said nothing. I must admit I was worried. I rang Derek’s father and told him but all he said was not to worry and how much he had enjoyed my company.

It had been three weeks and neither Derek nor Liana has mentioned our visit to Cornwall. William said. "Let them stew." But I don’t know and it still it made me nervous.

I told him I was going down for a break just before the school holidays, as it gets too crowded once school is out, and then….. silly me. I asked him if he wanted to come, and he said yes, but only if it was his treat and he paid. I have to admit at the time I thought I was going senile.

I got very nervous as the time drew near; Hoping William didn’t think I’m chasing him

I could have died when William arrived to collect me. Derek and Liana, well they both came out to see us off. William says that they must approve. I still blush even now every time I think about it

It was a beautiful end of July week, the sun shone every day, and we swam, sunbathed and saw the sights. William just loved the National trust gardens I didn’t want him too, but he insisted that we both became members and paid for the two of us.

 It only took a couple of days for me to stop worrying about William. I knew he was still very much in love with his wife, and as he opened up more. Well it was the way he spoke about her.  It was like I was with Bert; they were together a long time and very much in love, yes they were very close.

It was the end of September before we went back to Cornwall, a week’s holiday there, and to arrange with Mrs Williams to look after the cottage. William for the first time saw Cornwall at its worst, it rained nearly every day.

2002 Proved to be mostly uneventful, William and I got on reasonably well. He was always ready to assist if I needed help both at home and the cottage. I must admit, during our occasional visits to the cottage I found I quite liked his company.

2003 Started off rather badly what with the gales and snow. Mrs Williams rang to tell me that the cottage had suffered some roof damage due to a falling tree branch; William came down with me on the Friday to inspect it. After the gales the weekend turned out rather pleasant and it was Saturday night over dinner, that William rather surprised me.

I had always known he had had a very deep love for his wife and still missed her, but that night he spoke for the first time about her. Told me of the arrangements that they had made before she died, and what William should do.

Then he gave me a shock, quite a big one, he told me that when Mary died, and despite what she had said, well he had no intention of ever marrying again. But having met me, and as he put it. His heart had taken over from his head, and now I had become to be more to him than just a friend and. Well he then got down on his knee and asked me to marry him.

To put it bluntly I was totally speechless, I think I actually was gasping and I don’t know why, I said it, but I said I would think about it.

Well it was three weeks until I saw William again after he had proposed, and I knew he had been avoiding me and I could understand why. 

I had to think very carefully about his proposal, marrying a man. Well I knew it would probably mean something, or he would expect something I had no experience of, but I had final made up my mind I would ask William over for a meal.

It was rather a strained meeting; very quiet hardly a word spoken until I served the desert. It had taken me until then to pick up the courage to tell him about Bert. Shocked wasn’t in it, at first he didn’t speak and then he asked me how. All those years and I had never suspected. It was difficult explaining as I didn’t really understand myself; only that somehow it all worked. Finally he asked about, and I just shook my head and all I could say was. We never.

I then told him that if he still wanted me, I wanted him I told him yes I will marry you, and I must admit saying that aloud gave me as much of a shock as it did him.

I don’t know what I expected, but at first he just sat there looking at me, then he reached over the table took my hand and asked when. I can’t remember saying anything but I must have said Easter because he came round the table and for the first time….well, he kissed me.

Over the washing up he asked about William and Liana, and what and when to tell them. We didn’t decide that night only not to tell them just yet.

It was sooner than we expected the beginning of March to be exact Liana seeing us both in the garden asked us in for elevenses. It was then that they broke the news that Liana was already five months pregnant. I admit it was a shock but as Derek said they didn’t want to say anything until the hospital was sure that this pregnancy was progressing normally. Once we had recovered and Liana had made another pot of tea we broke our surprise, I don’t know which came as the greatest surprise. But we all went out that night to celebrate.

I had been worried that Derek would want me to move in with him as his was the larger house, but he never mentioned it in fact shortly after I accepted his proposal he said as it would be my first time in a proper marriage we should wait, I admit I was a bit disappointed but at the same time relieved as it gave me time to get used to the idea.

Easter came around and I got steadily more and more nervous. As I arrived at the church I was more nervous this time than I had been with Bert. Derek had insisted on a proper wedding, as it would be my first real marriage. Everything went well, the wedding the reception and then…. Well the next morning as I took my shower I couldn’t help looking down at myself and thinking, that that this is my first shower as a properly married woman. We left that morning for Cornwall where Mrs Williams had a party all ready for us.

Liana and Derek’s baby arrived loud and healthy on time I had to admit being a grandmother felt strange, something I had never expected to happen.... and now, well I’m going to be busy practicing my nappy changing.