Just writing whatever pops into my mind.

Where to start?

Just write. Just write whatever words pop into your head. You can always come back & tweak what you wrote. Remove the parts that make you look like a crazy demented mad lady...Um! Or. Why not leave those parts in. After all they are your inner thoughts...

I am aiming to let go of certain things in the past. Hang onto the good, the happy, positive, helpful, fulfilling. I have many more wonderful memories then the few bad which can be quite LOUD! DEMANDING! UGH!!!...but...When I decide to change my thinking. I choose to use the power of my own mind to heal. To deal. To get things into perspective...

Writing like this, to an out sider, looks like I am a depressive negative person going through some kind of personal drama. When in reality. Not really. Not perticularly. I have been through crappy things in my life, over the years. Many years. Not all condensed into one deep dark 'Focused!' on the negative; hole of doom & gloom...

Life! 

Unfortunately for me. I do have this mega memory for detail. My memory can be too good. Whilst everyone else has long forgotten & moved on. I can still remember every detail. How I felt...Sometimes I wish I had a selective memory like many people seem to have...

I have taught myself to stop negative flash backs in their tracks...I think 'Stop thinking. Live in the moment. Live in the present, think about the future' I have these words on repeat, because sometimes negative flash backs can be really stuborn, selfish, A hole 'Ugh!'

Focusing on 'Stop thinking. Live in the moment' Does help me a lot. I want to write stories about my past experiences as a sub. My kinky self...but...I end up with horrendous flash backs from often enhanced obnoxious behaviour from certain people...

There is so much to my sub self then the ignorance from others. So I should 'Just write'...I should use my great, wonderful, fantasticully 'fabulous' experiences, the fond memories of that part of myself, in that part of my life. To create my own fantasy, reality. I am past living it. So why not create my own personal 'virtual' sub me; life...Through stories. Kinkier the better. Though maybe not here. I don't think this is a site to write about kink...

Nuff said for now...