Declaring I'm Going to Have an Accident

Go on, tell me, is it me? Am I the one to blame? Is it my fault? All my fault? What am I talking about? I'll tell you what I'm talking about.
Well, it's em...when I'm walking along the pavement and someone walking in the other direction doesn't move out the way. I mean, it's always me who has to move out the way apparently. I ask you. Is that fair? Is that why I go out to work every morning? Is that why I pay my council tax?
Now, I don't mean that the person walking in the other direction to myself has to move completely out of the way. Of course not. I'm not a sadist. I just mean, for him or her, to move a little bit to the side like I do. I mean it's common courtesy. Common sense. Common decency. I just wish it was more common altogether.
Because the fact is, moving slightly to the side is one of the unwritten rules of the Highway Code for Pavements. Or should that be one of the unwritten rules of the unwritten Highway Code for Pavements. That is, I repeat, that you move slightly out the way when someone is walking in the other direction to you.

Actually, while we're on the subject, what is it with you anyway? What makes you think you can walk down the middle of the pavement like you own it? Just barge through like I don't exist. Do you think you're better looking than me, is that it? Have a better job? Have more money? Or you just think you're better than me altogether?...Well, I grant you, you may have a point there, but...

Anyway, the point of writing this, is to forewarn the person walking in the other direction to myself, who doesn't move out the way, that I'm not moving out the way either. And you know what that means. That's right. A collision. A head-on, full speed collision. Right in the middle of the pavement.
And all because you wouldn't move out the way. So I hope for your sake buddy, you're insured. Because I sure ain't.
See, getting insurance is like declaring you're definitely going to have an accident...Although, come to think of it, I suppose that's what I'm doing, declaring I'm going to have an accident. I better go and get some insurance. Back in a sec.