Impaired

in your absence I welcome
the pale thoughts of your body 

lying on the dewy grass 

grasping the pleasure of earth 

with both hands
you smeared the sweetness of soil
across your lips,

ripped the flowers 

shedding the seeds of new life

all over you.

I notice your joy in evading your body 

ignore its weakness 

just keeping your mind upright

in the absence of words

you never learned to speak 

despite an innate knowledge 

of what it means to live

in ignorance of normality 

like getting up from the ground 

going out into the gentle night 

to breathe in the scent of spring

I hear your uncontrolled screams

invocations of your mind

to break out of the unchanging day 

and destroy what they say about you:

incurable  useless  in the desolation

of an inarticulate mind

I think in your absence

about the delusion of pain

the burning candles at the end 

of your journey into the shadows

towards the ultimate certainty