My name is Crimson Boner. I live in my shed because my house is full of people. They talk and they talk until no-one really knows what the others are saying. The noise is unbearable. Words come spilling out of their mouths so much that all meaning attached to the words is lost. That's why I moved into the shed; for peace and quiet. No-one knows I'm out here yet. Well, apart from Mr. Edmunds the bin man. In fact he's not even an actual bin man; he just lives in the bin. Like me, he just wanted a little peace and tranquillity away from it all so he moved into my bin. Naturally I allowed him to do so seeing as we have such a special understanding. Sometimes we play bridge together on Thursdays. I never win because Mr Edmunds is the lucky sort and because he used to be a professional gambler until he lost it all and ended up in my bin.
