(Departed 8/9/22) The mother of all the nations of the Commonwealth has served us well for 70 years, through thick and thin she was there, sad times...
9/9/22 / 13/9/22 Alfred was rather pleased when our old Queen Elizabeth’s son, the erstwhile Prince Charles, was announced to have taken his own name...
Your story is developing well with surprising twists. There was no explanation of why she chose to awake or use Antares. How did she know about this demon? It might be worth including a sentence or two on these questions.
Also I think it...
A promising story, encourages me to read further. I do think that second long paragraph needs breaking up into smaller paragraphs. You have the mother's disappearance and the father's death both in the same paragraph, but they are different...
Good piece, very effective.
Posted on Fri, 16 Dec 2016
Good piece, very effective.
Read full commentPosted in subjected/ subjugated
I like the simple and direct
Posted on Thu, 26 Nov 2015
I like the simple and direct message and delivery of this poem.
Read full commentPosted in 25/11/2015
Your story is developing well
Posted on Thu, 06 Feb 2014
Your story is developing well with surprising twists. There was no explanation of why she chose to awake or use Antares. How did she know about this demon? It might be worth including a sentence or two on these questions.
Read full commentAlso I think it...
Posted in Euphoria Blake: Infernally Divine
A promising story, encourages
Posted on Thu, 06 Feb 2014
A promising story, encourages me to read further. I do think that second long paragraph needs breaking up into smaller paragraphs. You have the mother's disappearance and the father's death both in the same paragraph, but they are different...
Read full commentPosted in Euphoria Blake: Infernally Divine
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