Luke Neima
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The Final Journals of Dr. Peter Lurneman (Journal IV)
IV.I I can use the words, now. I had to work through two notebooks before I could move through the world again. Or rather it is the world that moves...
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The Final Journals of Dr. Peter Lurneman (Journal III)
III.I I felt much better this morning, but still somewhat disoriented. It is as if my perceptions are overdetermined. Each of my senses is greatly...
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The Passageway
There was this passageway, Long, rich, ferned. Pools, an old stairway, statuary. There are some leftover spines and a reading chair and the echo is...
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The Final Journals of Dr. Peter Lurneman (Journal II)
II.I Acacia falcata — Sabah, Malaysia: growth rate 1.2 inches/day. Bambusa Vulgaris — Burma: growth rate up to 3 ft/day. Both greatly overshadowed by...
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The Final Journals of Dr. Peter Lurneman (Journal I)
Editors’ note: After several months of debate we have decided to publish the succeeding text, a reproduction of the final field journals of Dr. Peter...
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Such a well captured moment.
Posted on Wed, 11 Jun 2014
Such a well captured moment. I love the narrator's innocent perception of beauty, the flash of goodwill, as it gives way, immediately, into the old pool of venality.
Beautifully done socialeaf - keep them coming!
Read full commentPosted in The Termini Flower
This is a strong opener, Vlad
Posted on Tue, 25 Mar 2014
This is a strong opener, Vlad - Vividly imagined and very well layed out, this is a fascinating and intriguing world you're introducing us to.
My suggestion, in terms of layout, would be to fold the exposition secition - the second bit -...
Read full commentPosted in Magic in Black, White, and Grey | Chapter 1: My Name is Aiymys Konrad
You could take this farther.
Posted on Fri, 14 Feb 2014
You could take this farther. Reading, I feel like I'm witnessing the start of a much longer process of transformation within the character - as if this event is only the starting point for a much longer process of personal development. And you...
Read full commentPosted in Grandad's Party - Chapter 3 of 3
I'm with scratch on this one.
Posted on Tue, 11 Feb 2014
I'm with scratch on this one. Can't believe I've let myself get behind. That last paragraph is a show-stopper. And that little suicide-knot in the light in paragraph one colours everything just so.
Should it be 'put' instead of 'putting'...
Read full commentPosted in school photos 46
A great opener, bdeye. Lots
Posted on Tue, 08 Jul 2014
A great opener, bdeye. Lots of action and some great ideas. Would love to see where this goes.
Read full commentPosted in The Quiet Government Men Chapter 1
I didn't expect that twist,
Posted on Tue, 24 Jun 2014
I didn't expect that twist, Ed - really well done!
Read full commentPosted in X-Ray and I
Agreed. This is fantastic. I
Posted on Fri, 13 Jun 2014
Agreed. This is fantastic. I love the voice and perspective, here - so unexpected.
Read full commentPosted in Nettles
A beautiful, heartfelt piece,
Posted on Wed, 04 Jun 2014
A beautiful, heartfelt piece, Anakin. The sincerity of your voice comes through so well!
Read full commentPosted in Angels gone
Sharp, horrific, but rings
Posted on Sun, 11 May 2014
Sharp, horrific, but rings true throughout. A quick edit: 'Twenty boys... with curls that retreated into a skull like faces' (drop the 'a')
Read full commentPosted in uncovering oneself (2)
I like it Sam, I like this
Posted on Thu, 08 May 2014
I like it Sam, I like this sense of being lost in the world of work, always between recreation and play and dissatisfaction. That really worked for me - the voice felt honest and real - and I wanted to read more (the best sign you can get from...
Read full commentPosted in Just do it
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