Without a Song

Cherry

By sunshine

Tue, 10 Jun 2008
  • 2381 reads
9 comments
 

We didn’t have an
‘Our song’
No tortured strings to twist our hearts.
We didn’t find a spinto soprano
To echo our love
In soubrette phrases.
There were no rock chick anthems
Thrumming drumming to
The beat of our passion.
We didn’t play the blues
To swell our sorrow
When we were apart.
And our vital reunions
Were not accompanied
By syncopated back beats.

We didn’t have an ‘our tune’
To dance to when
All the party guests had gone.

We didn’t have a song.

Certificate U
Poem
Moments and Memories
Love

Comments

Submitted by jennifer on
Romance must be dead? This is very wistful, I love the line: 'No tortured strings to twist our hearts' Clever word play. Depends on the song. I've never been one for smushy love stuff. The last 'our song' I had with someone was 'We're in this together' by the Nine Inch Nails!

 

Submitted by sunshine on
Thanks Jennifer. So right - it does depend on the song and how many times has the pleasure in a song been ruined as a result of the significance fading as a relationship dies? Best not to have one. Do you think the last line here is superfluous?

Submitted by tcook on
The last line really works - it's like the refrain in a song, and that's perfect.

Submitted by sunshine on
thank you Tony.

Submitted by jennifer on
I think Tony is right - the last line is the perfect refrain for the song-like quality of the poem!

 

Submitted by Dynamaso on
There is a fleeting yearning to this I really like. It would almost make a good set of lyrics for the right tune. Very lovely indeed. And I agree with everyone about the last line too.

 

Submitted by Caldwell on
That would be funny - if this got put to music and became someone's 'Our song'. A full turn-around.

 

Submitted by sunshine on
Thanks Dynamaso and Caldwell. I like the irony in the suggestion of this being an 'our song'.

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
'We didn’t play the blues To swell our sorrow When we were apart.' Just loved that line. Excellent work :)