Talking Pond

Cherry

By littleditty

Sun, 01 Mar 2009
  • 9102 reads
31 comments
 

People come
with such a thirst
to drink, bathe, and ask
will they be richer,
will they be wise,
in this mythical place
by the sea,
where silver statuettes
fountain fresh ripples
on a talking pond;
they clap and it bubbles,
they speak and it replies,
answers are inked,
inkled selectively
while Ganesha winks
from behind a garland of orange,
one burp of air
for a yes,
two for a no.

Certificate U
Poem
Circles and Straight Lines
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by Crackersville on
I love it! Here is a nice video for you and your excellent poem: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjkQWIVEJto

 

Submitted by littleditty on
thanks *dances around*

 

Submitted by jennifer on
Did you mean 'inkled' or was it supposed to be 'inked' repeated? Love this: 'where silver statuettes fountain fresh ripples on a talking pond;' oooh the alliteration and the soundscape in those lines is just delicious! J x

 

Submitted by hilary west on
I liked this, but thought the end let it down a lot !.

 

Submitted by littleditty on
inkled - *sweats* is it spelt right? yep, inkled, thanks Jennifer, glad you liked, im shuffling through and editing at the mo :)

 

Submitted by Crackersville on
Excuse me but the end is perfect. Littleditty, I hope you're not editing this one!

 

Submitted by littleditty on
Hilary - the end let it down? I like it - suppose its a sense of humour thing..

 

Submitted by littleditty on
Oh hello Crackers -yes i liked that ending - happy to see alternatives of course.

 

Submitted by Crackersville on
Inkled, I think it means warp-faced, I had no problem with it. Onomatopoetically speaking it's fine, if it derives from inkle. OW, you should edit it.

 

Submitted by jennifer on
Hilary - rather than simply saying you think the end let it down, why not tell ld why you thought that, which might help in an edit? I personally thought the ending was great, so simple and so effective. ld - inkled / inked - I don't understand the meaning - do you mean the answers are 'inked' as in written down and then it is able to gain an 'inkling', hence 'inkled'? J x

 

Submitted by hilary west on
It's the 'burp' I don't like.

 

Submitted by littleditty on
jenn, yes, like that, an inkling, from what is written down or observed. hilary - Ganesh sometimes burps i think, bubbling ponds like this one, do for sure - poems do, so -excuse me! thanks for commenting, i'm reading yours :)

 

Submitted by hilary west on
You say 'Bubbling' ponds. This is what occurred to me. I'd have used 'bubble',although you have already used it ! Gobble ?

 

Submitted by littleditty on
Ha! gobble is an idea - but Ganesh, an elephant, god, gobbling? i dont know - trumpetting? snorting is too sarcastic, burp, a little burp? I LIKE THESE BURPS!!! thanks hilary :)

 

Submitted by jennifer on
I like the burps! Ok, I get the inked/inkled thing now - think I might be slightly hungover... J x

 

Submitted by hilary west on
Stick to your guns littleditty !

 

Submitted by littleditty on
:)

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Well I didn't have an inkling about inkled before; but I guess I do now:-) And there is nothing like a good burp as the mood so takes one. Loved this, ld. Now it's back to washing floors. Tina:-)xx

 

Submitted by littleditty on
lol - im washing sheets, glad you liked - back to the Spring Cleaning for the both of us Tina, G&T and JD when we're done :) will have a reread of yours later too xx

 

Submitted by littleditty on
is that better dear?

 

Submitted by Ewan on
Burp. A good word, onomatopaeic, relatively new in origin (1932 according to Etymology-on-line, but what do they know?). Let's hear it for this kind of language in poetry... But it's nowhere near as delicious as 'inkle', of which - heretofore - I had nary an inkling. Lovely poem LD. Ewan

Author Page at the 'Zon
 

Submitted by littleditty on
Another burp? well really...where are our manners?inkle is a cute word, 1535-45 origin unknown - glad you liked, cheers Ewan :)

 

Submitted by littleditty on
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRZkLfzpFeI&feature=related

 

Submitted by littleditty on
burps are ok with me -the Snake? i read it today - yes its here - come to think of it, there are more burps in Gallery which i wrote with Jigsaw and Canvas - thanks for the edit you did of this one, its about a pond in Bali really, did i write it in Goa? Goa Poems, Disturbance of Shen, Blessing, The Shawl, reminds me of Goa. Cheers nIc xxx

 

Submitted by chuck on
I like the unpretentious ending. You brought it down to earth with a burp.

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Love it! Welcome back LD ;) I thought the ending was the best part, change nothing, keep chiselling! Chris XX

Submitted by littleditty on
chuck, thanks, down to earth with a burp! makes me think of hot air balloons, and parachutes, and Chris, thanks, but i didnt go anywhere, im here doing a spot of editing, glad you liked the poem :)

 

Submitted by lenchenelf on
:-)It is a pleasure to read your work Little D, you have a keen eye (and ear) :-) atb L

 

Submitted by littleditty on
thanks L, ive just had another read of your super Spring one, a feast -this is more a snack -glad you enjoyed :)

 

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Such a magical, mystical poem ld, crammed into so few words. Brilliant ;) Magic xxx

 

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