And yet...

And yet… (10th June 2009, 10.09am)

you’ve gone dark, absolved any
guilt in radio blackness, blocking
the airwaves with apathy.

I was content with nothing;
spider-like, I’d lost my taste for flies,
tangled in my web of solitude,
comforted by the acquiescence
of silence inside my simple room.

Reacting to a lack of passion;
I came, thinking you were safe…
mistakes can so rarely be unmade.

I was naïve as usual,
caught in the ease between us,
twisted tight inside time spent,
captured by the kinship in your eyes,
ignorant of your intent.

Some laugh, call it instinctive;
others rightly mark the betrayal,
labelling me ‘foolish girl’.

I was hoping for counsel;
your gifts were more than ears, eyes, heart;
instead you offered masculine charms
and, for a moment, I overlooked
your shattered past with my reaching arms,

and yet…

Jennifer Pickup