Abuse.

A powerful poem Emma: your last line might be improved by inserting a dash between 'hand' and 'I'm'. The rest of the punctuation is a little erratic, too. You probably need a full stop after 'place' 'million' and 'discreetly'. A colon might suit after 'completely'. Jennifer would know better than I. In the line beginning 'I must leave...' you should choose either two adjectives or two adverbs, that is, without -ly or with -ly respectively. Strictly speaking, it should be the adverbs, but I would choose the adjectives, between commas, as that would scan better. Brave and honest, regards Ewan

I think the form of this is excellent - deep, down, under, to up, higher. I know that writing helps - that's why I do it! Sarah x

Good advice, Ewan, and well followed, Hidden, J x

Ditto Ewan, Jennifer. I'm so pleased this earned a cherry. Margot

This is great, very well done. Ewan's feedback is spot on too. The last couple of lines seem to offer a resolution that, for me, comes a bit too fast and easy given the pace and atmosphere that's set in the rest of the piece. However, that's just my opinion. Fantastic piece of work. xx

Very good!

wow

Hi Emma, sorry I have just found this poem but so glad I did!!! IT'S Brilliant!!!! well done :) Keep Writing Keep Smiling :)))