Une Nuit Blanche

Poem of the week

By MistakenMagic

Sun, 28 Jun 2009
  • 7349 reads
26 comments
 

Around the pillow my thoughts
are racing. Racing from ear to ear
through every strand of my hair -
swerving, swerving.
They refuse to give up!

My fingers slide through tunnels
of duvet - searching. Searching
as lonely moles that seek out sleep
in bed-sheet shafts - digging, digging.
But no luck, no luck!

I move from mountain range to foetal - twisting,
turning. Turning in the grooves
of this grave - arms as wings,
waving, waving.
The pillows pin me, hard as hooks!

Before my eyes a broken picture show -
flashing. Flashing like ancient animation
or some old, chipped vinyl - scratching, scratching.
My mind just gets stuck...

gets stuck ...

gets stuck ...

Certificate U
Poem
Conversation With My Thirteen-Year-Old Self
Autobiography

Comments

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
There's been a little problem with the positioning of the end two lines! ABC won't let me place them properly! Magic xxx

 

Submitted by sarah wilson on
It doesn't matter cos this is a great piece and one I sympathise with completely. "Before my eyes a broken picture show - flashing. Flashing like ancient animation or some old, chipped vinyl - scratching, scratching. My mind just gets stuck..." Mine too:) sarah x

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Another class piece Magic; the frustration is palpable! Nice one. Chris XX

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Thank you Sarah and Chris! Glad I can share my night time ramblings with you ;) Magic xxx

 

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
well done on the cherry Magic...I've nearly forgot what they look like LOL. ;)

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Awww Chris - if it's any consellation I thought 'Bag Lady 2' and 'The Sixties' should've got cherries! Magic xxx

 

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Magic by name and Magic by nature lol. What a coincidence, The Sixties just got cherried; methinks someone put a word in for me ;) XXX

Submitted by Jupiter on
Hi Magic. Been there, done it, got the solution ;-) But firstly I need to say how much I love the opening two lines : "Around the pillow my thoughts are racing. Racing from ear to ear" I can see the electrical pulses carrying the unrequired information back and forth, back and forth, round and round, back and ... :) As for the solution, well still no feedback from your fellow insomniac Sarah who I also suggested it to as to whether it has been successful for her, but the nonsensical word works for me. Think of a word with no meaning and where no part of it has any meaning either, for example 'flarogimalar' and keep saying it over and over in your head. All your thoughts will go to attempting to decipher the undeciperable and you will fall asleep. Can't guarantee it but it works for me - every time! ;-)

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Hey -I've missed all the excitement. You know already what I think of this, dear Magic and I am so pleased your excellent poem got its just reward;-) Tina xxx

 

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Chris - I know creepy! Well let me know if there's ever any other piece you want cherried and I'll mention it in a comment - see what happens ;) Jupiter - wow never heard of that solution before but I'm definitely going to try it and get back to you! Tina - Thank you so much for all your punctuation help with this one Tina! Magic xxx

 

Submitted by Curse of 222 on
well well well...it appears the secret society of cherry pickers has been good to us all lately. congrats, magic! as for the poem, hmm...i'm feeling a bit sarcastic tonight, but i shan't take it out on you. (although last time that got me cookies, as i recall) this poem is wonderful and somewhat whimsical. i love the refrain at the end (and you know my frustration with spacing on this site...). i am a bit curious about your process. i know tina is involved, and i get the sense that you put a good bit of effort in every piece (it shows, obviously) do you have a set process? does it vary greatly with every piece? am i rambling? i'll stop. excellent work, bex. jason

jason

Submitted by Ewan on
Well, you know, if you think someone else's work has been unjustly ignored you could always flag it up on the forum, 'discuss writing from ABCtales.com'. This is probably an unwise strategem to promote your own work, I expect. Don't forget that work can be nominated for SOW/POW of the week by any member, and that means it will be considered carefully by the editors. I know of quite a few cherries that have appeared by these two routes. Beware though, this might provoke forthright discussion from certain members, certainly if another member posed an opposite view with criticism backed up by evidence. Equally, the original writer might feel their work had been exposed to (adverse) criticism it might not have had. If you look back at past-forum threads on this matter you will see that voting for cherries has been discussed many, many times. The question is, do you feel more validated by an 'independent' (in as far as anything so subjective can be so) team's choice or that determined by a million idle clicks?

Author Page at the 'Zon
 

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
SundaysChild - Thank you! I'm really glad you enjoyed it! Ewan - I'm feeling a little embarrassed now as what I said to Chris was really just a throw away comment! I didn't realise it would provoke a response I'm sorry! I really respect all the cherry pickers out there and believe all their decisions are just - even if just occassionally a good poem splips by undetected! And I agree that getting involved with other people's cherries would not be beneficial for myself or my work so I am going to steer well clear of it from now on! Jason - You're not rambling I'm just really happy you're interested! I guess it's true my poems do go through a process. If I'm not rambling I'll explain it; 1.) The idea appears! I write down a first draft or sometimes just a few lines in 'appointed poetry notebook' 2.) Usually a few days later I come back to it and make a second draft and type it up on my computer. 3.) I show it to a 'poetry friend' at school and get their opinion on any changes. 4.) If I decide to post it on ABC I do indeed send it to Tina for her thoughts - usually on the punctuation! 5.) I post it on ABC. But not every poem goes through these stages like clock work some I come back to months later or all five stages happen in one day! Thanks for taking an interest Jason ;) Magic xxx

 

Submitted by Ewan on
Hmm... Not quite what I meant, Magic. I must have put it badly. I, for one, would prefer people to stand up and go to bat for something they feel strongly about, especially if such feelings were backed up by cogent and logical argument. I did want to warn that there are some people on every site who would adopt a contrary view and that things might get a little heated. Therefore, it might be best to be sure of one's relationship with the original writer, if one does support someone's work in this way. Perhaps I meant to say that the system is not perfect, but then, what is? Regards Ewan

Author Page at the 'Zon
 

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Sorry Ewan! It must be too early for me ;) I now see what you mean and agree completely - thanks for clearing that up! Magic xxx

 

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Apologies to anybody who thought that I was suggesting that Magic was in any way responsible for my cherry on 'The Sixties'. I understand the system for cherry-picking and have always found it fair and above board. I have nothing but respect for the editors on this site and the wonderful (shed load of) work that they do. I have, on occasion, flagged work (never my own) that I considered 'special'. I have never entered into dialogue with the writer or made reference to it in the forum, rather pointed it out to an editor by way of e-mail. My remark to Magic was - as hers - a throw away one and made as a jest between two friends. I should however have recognized that this is a public forum in itself and therefore open to interpretation. I apologize again for being the cause of any confusion. Chris PS I have to add that I think that all my work is brilliant and deserving of cherries... ;)

Submitted by Curse of 222 on
i was rambling, but thanks for being polite. thank you for the process timeline...i find it interesting because it is so different than my own. of course, our styles are quite different, so i shouldn't be too surprised. jason

jason

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Thank you Nathan! I do the same thing trying to stay awake - I usually write better late at night as well! I'm intrigued now Jason - what's your process? Magic xxx

 

Submitted by Curse of 222 on
to be honest, i don't have a process. a thought, a feeling, a phrase or an image...pops into my head. then i write. that's it. i proof read then post it. the few stories i've posted took a bit more work, especially the most recent. hardly a proper process. jason

jason

Submitted by jennifer on
Firstly, 'Turning in the grooves of this grave - arms as wings, waving, waving.' Superb line, so, so, good. And disturbing in that sort of intriguing way! Secondly, I have found the cure for insomnia - and I mean - as-soon-as-the-head-hits-the-pillow sleep: Become a full-time teacher. Six-seven good hours every night. Yes, it's really that simple! J x

 

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Jason - if this process works for you then it is the right one regardless of any one else's! Plus mine is so much more time-consuming I could probably benefit from some quick posting ;) Jen - Thank you! So glad you liked this one ;) And you know teaching is the career path I'm considering at the moment - I've just got back from the Oxford University open day, UCAS application and personal statement in the works! Magic xxx

 

Submitted by jennifer on
Ooooh, how exciting! Good luck with the applications! I shall keep things crossed that I don't need to write with....errr...legs? J x

 

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
*Squeals* Poem of the week! Thank you so much Tony! Now maybe I can get a good night's sleep? :p Magic xxx

 

Submitted by chelseyflood on
Wow, so many comments Magic! I've never seen anything like it. The rythms are good in here, the repetition works. Some good lines too, this is my favourite: "I move from mountain range to foetal - twisting, turning. Turning in the grooves of this grave - arms as wings, waving, waving." Congratulations on Poem of the Week.

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Thank you Chelseyflood and very well done to you on your story of the week! Magic xxx

 

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Thank you Nathan! It was such a surprise! Made my week ;) Magic xxx