A Long Time Gone!

Cherry

By threeleafshamrock

Fri, 24 Jul 2009
  • 4232 reads
18 comments
 

The gate is a ghost and the pillars are barely discernible.
The short pathway to the door, once ablaze with pansies
and guarded on both sides by cherry trees;
now overgrown and choking on its own fertility.

Human foibles and fancies; no match for nature's patience…
but then; you’re a long time gone!

I recall coming here, when your father was dying; wasting!
He sent for you; the one he had spurned at my birth.
And you presented me; his bastard grand-son;
I had never seen a grown man cry or been hugged by one.

I can remember little, other than a feeling that still feels…
but then; he’s a long time gone!

I remember the good man that you found, or that found you.
A scandal, screamed the priest; living in sin and rearing Satan’s child!
We were all bound for hell, he threatened. ‘I’ve already been there’,
you told him, ‘it’s full of fools and hypocrites; you’ll like it!’

I thought your graves were a little closer to the house and the cherry trees…
but then; I’m a long time gone!

Certificate U
Poem
shamrock's ramblings
Drama

Comments

Submitted by Ewan on
Nature's, Chris... What does the line 'I thought your graves, a little closer to the house and cherry trees...' mean? Whatever it means, it doesn't quite make sense with the comma. It needs to go (the comma that is). Without the comma it only makes sense if you assume the ellipsis of the word 'were'. As in: 'I thought your graves (were) a little closer to the house and cherry trees.' Is that what you meant? I couldn't assume the ellipsis because of the comma, do you see? Very neat and tidy otherwise, thoughtful and playful at the same time; especially in the use of the refrain. regards Ewan

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Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Thanks Ewan and yes, that is exactly what I meant. Losing the comma! I get what you mean I just felt it neater without the 'were' and kind of stuck the comma in instead; a bad idea! I'll go with the 'were' and at least it makes more sense. What do you reckon?

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
...to be honest Ewan, looking at it again, I could nearly lose..' and cherry trees. Any thoughts?

Submitted by girlbear on
I like this, particularly the first verse (must we call it stanza now?). I think it is powerful.

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Call it anything you like gBear ;) thanks for reading

Submitted by whiskey on
Chris, I must confess I don't really understand the reference to graves at the end, but the rest of the poem was wonderful to read. I was particularly struck by the line 'now overgrown and choking on its own fertility'. Very clever. :-)

Submitted by Jupiter on
This is pretty hot stuff! :-) Don't understand all of it - and I doubt from experience that you will have the time to explain with care - however - I can smell the quality :-)

Submitted by lenchenelf on
'I thought your graves were a little closer to the house… but then; I’m a long time gone!' It seems, the narrator returns, though it's painful, through a mixture of actual and vicarious memory to home and hearth, reclaims his birthright in the passing of time and place and the players, only to discard it, he is more than values enclosing the garden. Probably off centre in my reading, but really liked it atb Lena

 

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Ok folks, appreciate the interest and here goes with the attempted explanation. The narrator was brought to the house by his (unmarried) mother. It was her birth-place but she was basically thrown out by her father when found to be pregnant (and unmarried). When her father was dying and there was no one else on who he could call - and feeling that he needed to mend some of the bridges he had burned - he sent for the narrator's mother. She returned with her son (his grandson/the narrator) and the presumption is that the father/grand father was overcome with regret for the wasted years. The father/grand father died and the mother and narrator lived on in the house. She found a new partner - which was a scandal - who was a good man. The narrator when old enough escaped the house, stigma/situation when old enough and went abroad and made his fortune or at least a life for himself (what ever your imagination suggests). The narrator had been home for one/both funerals and had at that time arranged for the burial because the church had refused permission for burial in consecrated ground (Catholics; jeez!). He had gone away again and NOW years later has come home either to claim or more likely to see the place one more time and reminisces on the past. In his memory, he seems to recall that the graves were nearer to the house than they actually are. But then; he was a long time gone and perceptions are not always as dictated. Hope that helps LOL. Thanks all for reading and if the explanation sounds like bullshit; it's what was going through my mind at the time ;) Appreciate all the interest from all. Thanks!

Submitted by Ewan on
Hmm... that is more or less what I thought you´d written. It must be you and I who are weird, Chris. I´d leave the cherry trees in.

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Submitted by sarah wilson on
'A long time gone' layers of meaning in this. I like it very much:)

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Glad someone else got the drift of it Ewan lol. 'I'm a long time gone' is a bit Irish colloquial really. It pertains to the Irish language and the way... well I won't even go there; suffice to say that if taken literally, it can seem back-to-front in translation. The 'English' way of saying it would be, 'I have been gone for a long time'. Maybe this would have made it less ambiguous but the piece was very Irish, incorporating, for instance the Catholic church's dominant role in Irish life and culture - and the sometimes catastrophic effect it had on same - while holding and enforcing the high moral ground. An unmarried mother would have been an anathema in the Ireland of my parents time and in many cases, would have been sent away. If anyone is really interested in how this shameful part of Ireland's history manifested itself, then look up 'The Magdalene Laundries'; horrific! Put the 'cherry trees' back in and I think your write; it softens the line and fills it out. Thanks for your help with this one; certainly no ambiguity left in it now anyway LOL. ;)

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Thank you Sarah, glad you liked it; maybe too many layers Lol.

Submitted by Ewan on
I think my mum's family, from the North (sorry mate, the name of the city began with L for them), were wont to say 'You're a long time dead' before any feat of self-indulgence, from a Guinness to a cream cake. Most people would have made something of 'a long time gone' I reckon. The Irish-ness is part of its charm for me.

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Submitted by whiskey on
I understood it, Chris, apart from the graves bit as there was nothing to suggest his forebears had been buried in the garden. Made no difference to my enjoyment of it, though! :-)

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
;) Thanks Ewan; we're nothing if not charming ;-) Appreciate the interest and help, as always.

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Thanks Whiskey for taking the time and the nice comments, glad you enjoyed ;) Get more of the stories up; really enjoying the superb writing. xx

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Wow, a cherry ...it was all worth it LOL ;)