Batty and Betty

Batty, the bat, started life as a rat
of course Batty was Ratty back then.
When Batty was Ratty, he looked rather tatty;
he never could find a girlfriend.

Although he would preen, it never was seen
that he ever had bothered one bit.
He would use for shampoo, someone's freshly flushed poo
(which is sometimes referred to as shit)

Now it may seem odd, that he washed his bod
with a product that caused such a smell
but posh pipes were fewer, his end of the sewer;
it was hard to find good shower gel.

His lack of romance made him take a chance
and to find love, he felt he should roam.
With tears in his eyes, he said his goodbyes
as he scuttled away from his home.

He left in the night, avoiding the light,
feeling sure, it was safer that way.
but should you embark, all alone in the dark,
then of dangers, you'll find an array

Around about one, it felt less like fun
and poor Ratty's long tail, felt like lead.
He felt that his belly, was turning to jelly;
if he didn't eat soon he'd be dead.

His head feeling light, he came on a sight
that had him licking drool from his snout.
Lying there on the street, was what looked like dead meat
and there wasn't a sinner about.

He felt a strange call and started to crawl
toward the prone body, to check.
When he got there he sat, looking down at the bat,
'till it jumped up and savaged his neck.

The bat - now called Betty - was once known as Hetty
but she'd been a Hamster back then.
Just like poor old Batty - till now known as Ratty -
she'd met with a strange bat, called Ben

Filled with desire ( girls do love a flier)
and Ben looked so suave, 'must be said
But Ben was a liar, a rabid Vampire;
he'd come from the ranks of undead.

Ben had his lude way, then bid her 'Good day'
and ran off with a Gerbil called Grace,
leaving Hetty - now Betty - feeling all sweaty;
much punctured and very red faced.

Betty grew fangs and frequently hangs
upside down and away from bright lights.
There's new wings for flying but she ends up crying
'cause Betty is fearful of heights.

She felt quite possessed, which made her depressed;
she decided that she'd end it all.
She was feeling aloof as she leaped from a roof
and hit the road like a lead ball

Expecting to die, she did not know why,
when she hit the ground, there was no splat.
While working it out, she sensed Ratty's snout
and thought, yes please; I'll have some of that!

So it came to pass, when Ratty's big ass
waddled over to check her out, right?
Betty said (but don't quote) as she bit on his throat;
'bloody hell, this bloke tastes just like shite!'

Ratty yelped as he felt, his brain start to melt,
and wondered, why he felt like flying.
He felt his blood sucked and knew he was fucked
but bigger thoughts were underlying...

He met Betty's eyes, his heart filled with sighs;
and he thought; 'what a beautiful sight'
Somehow he just knew, she was feeling it too;
well...he'd had his first ever 'love-bite'.

His wings were a tonic, and he felt bionic -
his fangs were a little off line -
Betty taught him to bite (and not lather with shite)
and of course, he thought her quite divine

Now if you take the stance that the road to romance
needs wooing or courting and flowers;
see Batty and Betty; nee Ratty and Hetty
who just bit each other for hours.

The best fairy tales, all start off with wails
but end, growing old happily.
The difference this time; (in this rambling rhyme)
they were happy for eternity! ;)