Playtime Twaddle

'Oh yeah?' he said, 'I’ll wunket your head!
I’ll frontle your daddy’s Rolex!'
'Oh yeah?' said I, 'I’ll gooble your eye!
If only you weren’t wearing specs!'

'Oh yeah?' he spat, 'I’ll snoddy your hat!
And phling-phlong your pnippering boots!'
'Oh yeah?' I spewed, 'I’ll klardle your food!
And jimp* on both of your foots**!'

'What’s that?' said Eliza (play supervisor),
'You’re making no sense, you pair.'
'I’ll yoodling his nose!' 'I’ll squittage his toes!'
'Oh yeah?'
'Oh yeah?!'
'OH YEAH?!'

(* The New Zealand word for jump.)
(** Feet.)