When...

When the white heat of technology
lined up as six-two-five;
when Ballet Boys went, heavy-
booted, into miners' lives,
when Eric slept with Ernie
before half-past-bloody eight!
When VAT was purchase tax
and lard was what we ate.
When Titbits was on newsprint -
and Mayfair showed no pink -
while we read a broadsheet, express-ly,
to tell us what to think.
When they frightened us with Myra
and the look on Ian's face,
when we only thought of Arkle,
if someone mentioned "race".
When Peter was just no-one
but a hermit with Herman's name,
when Waddington's sold Ouija
and we played it as a game.
When America was wonderful
and the place for getters of go
'cos we watched the Man from Uncle
and played Napoleon, solo.
When the music on the radio
was programmed Light or Home,
when David sang some nursery rhymes
and a song about a gnome.

When all this is forgotten -
as perhaps it ought to be -
the one thing I'll remember
is, that Eng-er-land made me.