Summer
By MistakenMagic
Tue, 30 Mar 2010
- 7744 reads
28 comments
We are the only two passengers
on a sinking ship -
our time is running out,
these sands are thin.
Lives, once full to the brim
with sky blue hours,
now, the minutes filter
so quickly through our fingers.
Nothing is captive -
times spins so fast
the colours are blurred.
We both cling to right now,
a moment of bliss,
yet ever knowing
that never again
will both of us
be played out
as perfectly
as this.
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Comments
I really like this,
Permalink Submitted by RachelPatricia on
I really like this, Magic.
First stanza is so painfully beautiful!
Your works never fail to amaze me :)
Rachel xx
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You just have a brilliant
Permalink Submitted by RachelPatricia on
You just have a brilliant way with words, Magic -
and I mean this is the nicest way, but considering you're eighteen, it's truly amazing. I would happily go out and buy a book of your poetry any day :)
You're more than welcome for your comment,
Rachel xx
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Yay! :) Right, well I'm
Permalink Submitted by RachelPatricia on
Yay! :)
Right, well I'm gonna be hounding my postbox now, Magic! I have every confidence you will, have you tried yet?
No, honestly, I really do enjoy reading your work and how you see the world, you have some lovely perspectives. I always like to give credit where it's due, so there's no need for the thanks, you are very welcome:)
Rachel xx
Oh, and if I strike it lucky and get an anthology myself, I'll return the favour ;o) (closest I've got is being published in vanity presses - ARGH!!)
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Very,very beautiful as
Very,very beautiful as always Magic. I am confident that you will have no problem getting your poetry published, I too would love to read an anthology full of your poems!
My favourite stanza;
"Nothing is captive -
times spins so fast
the colours are blurred."
Fabulous image!
Beeme xx
k.
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This really is so beautiful,
Permalink Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
This really is so beautiful, Magic. Sorry I'm late commenting...only just logged on after a hectic day.
You imagery is once again magnificent...only Beeme 'stole' my favourite lines;-)
Much enjoyed on a rain-soaked, and boisterous mad March evening.
Tina xxx
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Thankyou Magic, that means
Thankyou Magic, that means so much coming from such a talented author ;) x
k.
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Beautiful imagery, as usual;
Permalink Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Beautiful imagery, as usual; lovely piece and don't forget to put me on that mailing list either... ;)
Chris XXXX
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all of the above!, for me
all of the above!, for me the end lines stand out esepcially, v.v.good,:~}
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Aaw Magic! I understand
Aaw Magic! I understand this, I have dreaded separation in my past & this is so perfectly sad, time blurring asif wasted, even though sky blue hours! Still, don't despair, you dont know that ending yet. Kahdai xxx
"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "
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Very wonderful. Nails that
Very wonderful. Nails that terrifying combination of the glimpse of infinity in a moment and the knowledge that it isn't really infinite, waiting for the ship to sink, for summer to end.
But then winter isn't so bad for those of us who enjoy our melancholy ...
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new MistakenMagic Really
Permalink Submitted by Cavalcader on
new MistakenMagic
Really lovely p[oem
and delicate entwined words.
Yes.Age and time is like an
egg timer sifting through.
I like all of it one for me:
Nothing is captive=
time spins so fast
the colouts are blurred
Tes,of course your get published.
julie xx
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if yor onliin now plez com
if yor onliin now plez com on messager
"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "
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You might have put your name
Permalink Submitted by vidit.chopra on
You might have put your name out here as MistakenMagic but every word that you write seems to be magical. Though people say sometimes Magic is just an illusion but your words aren't an illusion. They are just well and truly magical without any sort of illusion, but yes full of images.
As always, WOW on this one as well.
Vidit
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Very nice work, MM! That
Permalink Submitted by Richard L. Prov... on
Very nice work, MM! That poem parallels life, full of contradictions, yet tempered by the loves in our lives. You capture the essence of living in the moment and share quite well. Keep it up. Richard LP
Richard L. Provencher
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