Modern
By WillSimpson
Wed, 21 Jul 2010
- 873 reads
2 comments
Glittering hope is contained in our hands,
Left For the fire,
Right to make a stand,
Lightning from the right palm,
Can you see it in your hands?
It starts with a mountain of four,
Seven Sea's and a break, with a fall,
A tree with a fruit,
With an eye from a crow,
I care less now about the words,
Its the meaning I need,
You don't see it when your in the herd,
The words I mean,
My Deliverance comes in dreams,
But my world is like one,
A sweet bird song,
Or an Ex texting your phone,
Do what you will,
But my activities I can't condone,
Its peace I need,
The type you find when your all alone,
You always want your opposite,
Even when I can't see it.
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Comments
Aaw Will, I think I
Aaw Will, I think I understand this, its th meaning ii need too! Kx
"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "
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Some great imagery,
Some great imagery, especially in the first line!
However:
'You're' rather than 'your' - if you can say 'you are' then 'you're' is the one you need.
And an apostrophe is never used to indicate a plural. ('Seven Sea's'), but it is used to indicate a letter missed out, you need one in your 'Its peace...'
J x
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