Bull's Eye

This is good, especially the pun in the last line. Never read a poem on this subject before.

The joke at the end makes this for me. Perhaps that means I have retained my schoolboy's idea of what's amusing. Perhaps I'm just old-fashioned but I don't get the line breaks and the structure. It doesn't really fit with the flow of the narrative. I know that there's a fashion for making a 'pattern on the page' but apart from the 3-lined presentation, does it really do so? I think a structure is better if it emphasises those things that the writer wants to emphasise. Therefore I can see why 'splatter' get's its own line but on that basis, perhaps 'swooned' should too. Anyway, ignoring all my quibbles, it's still very good. Helvigo Jenkins

This is great. Very funny :)

It made me squirm and laugh, really good.