Planet Earth is blue 6

Cherry

By rjnewlyn

Wed, 27 Oct 2010
  • 2341 reads
9 comments
 

When I dream, I am always back on Earth. Usually I’m walking through the old pine forest to my grandfather’s cabin and he’s pointing out the stars beyond the treetops. Sometimes my parents are still living there, sometimes the house is empty. I was quite young when they were taken and their faces are always obscured.

In the dream that came after the battle on Rhea, it was just my mother waiting for me. I was running through the forest but the cabin was already burning and dark figures were bundling her into a van. I tried to scream but my grandfather’s hand was over my mouth, pulling me into the shadows out of sight.

I woke with a start on bare stone. Lily was sitting close by, staring straight ahead, her face fixed and grim. The rock on which we were sheltering orbits far beyond Pluto and Charon in the outer darkness where the sun is barely distinguishable from other stars.

But creatures survive even here. I was about to say something to Lily when I noticed that she’d risen to her feet. A pair of huge, pale eyes was closing in on us, other shapes following close behind.

Certificate U
Story
200 words
Other Fiction

Comments

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Another delicious cliff-hanger, Rob! I like the idea of the back-story you're building here - and you portray the idea of loneliness in the vastness of space so well! Magic xxx

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
I agree with Magic and I am literally on the edge of my seat. Your reference to 'Pluto and Charon' left me curious. Pluto, yes...but Charon I hadn't heard of. On googling, of course, found it was Pluto's moon, discovered as recently as 1978. Anyway, that aside...another episode, much enjoyed;-) Tina

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on
i like the flashbacks Rob. I think that's why your stories are so enjoyable - because of the layers you build. The penultimate sentence "I was thinking of something to say" - it sounds a little bit odd to me. Isn't it usually trying to think, or just about to say...?

 

Submitted by lenchenelf on
Y'know (of course you do!) this would make a really gripping graphic novel :-) atb lena xx

 

Submitted by fatboy74 on
Just read 5 and 6 (obviously 6 as i'm here now) and this is working really well. Do you decide before how much is going to be memory/real time action or just let it play out or blance it from what has happened in previous parts? Looking forward to next installment. :-)

 

Submitted by rjnewlyn on
Thanks very much indeed Magic, Tina, Insert, Lena and Fatboy. I'm very pleased it's still working. And thanks very much for the cherry. Re Pluto and Charon, Tina, I've always liked the idea of Death and his Ferryman circling each other somewhere out there. I'd thought about siting this chapter on one of them but figured it needed to be further out still. I probably ought to have been a bit more explicit about them but 200 words wasn't enough. Re the penultimate sentence, Insert, yes I see what you mean and have altered it. Thanks for that! Yes, Lena, it would be great to convert this sort of thing into a graphic novel. If you ever come across an illustrator in need of a story/script, do let me know! Re the planning, Fatboy, no there's not very much forethought - very much each week as it comes, but trying to keep track of where the previous ones have been going. The interesting thing I'm finding with this type of work is having to think about the bigger story arcs that are tricky in novel writing because they're difficult to see. I certainly don't think I get it right all the time but having to focus in this way is helpful and I'd recommend it. Rob

 

Submitted by Sooz006 on
I'm intrigued in the way you write these, and Deaders. Do you work to the wordcount or write it as an entirety and then slice it into chunks? If you do it in parts, how does it affect your writing, does the writing have to be more disciplined and structured because it's in such condensed sections? If you say you always write this well regardless of length I'm going to sulk for at least a month.

 

Submitted by rjnewlyn on
Yes, for a while I tried to keep every post to exactly 200 words. When I joined ABCtales, I'd read some magazine article by Tony (I think) who'd recommended it as a discipline and I thoroughly concur - it's been a very helpful way of working out how to make every word count (not that it always works, but sometimes I remain happy with the result). I've dropped the restriction over the last few posts (hence a very subtle change to my 'set' heading) and am seeing how things go. Thanks for reading! Rob

 

Submitted by rjnewlyn on
In terms of the work, all of these are made and then posted. There's no advanced planning or pre-writing, hence the wobbliness in the plot at times.