Turn the handle
By Louise178
Fri, 19 Nov 2010
- 2300 reads
10 comments
The door wouldn't open
I forgot to turn the handle
all the pages were full
and some words well they
just need to be face up
to remember and finish the end
of such a questioning journey
carefully placed on the top
but I need a pen, frantically
I search, blue biro it seems cheap
to record such words, it works
running smoothly over the page
thoughts are up and down
yet another cup of tea
on the bed off, ideas rush
but I am drained there isn't much left
I've been on the bottom of the floor...
and the door wouldn't open
I forgot to turn the handle.
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Comments
I like the way you use the
I like the way you use the unusual in your poems. That first and last lines and your colloquial style. Works for me.
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I like them too - I like the
Permalink Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on
I like them too - I like the way you don't spell things out
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This must be another one of
This must be another one of those flops you were talking about! :-) What you have done with the first two and last two lines is great - I have wanted to write a whole poem like this, the first half repeating the second but with a different meaning through punctuation etc but have never been able to do it. Is there more punctuation sneeking in here? Thank you for another great read Louise. :-)
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Yes definitely, 4 commas and
Yes definitely, 4 commas and an ellipsis! (apostrophes don't count)
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:) this is brilliant! K
:) this is brilliant! K
"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "
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haha like minds? or is it
haha like minds? or is it that 'german for time-ghost thing ;) ? K x
"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "
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