CAN I PLEASE HAVE MY BRAIN BACK?

By kheldar

Mon, 29 Nov 2010
  • 5855 reads
22 comments
 

A dozen years I've popped these pills
S.N.R.I.'s to "cure my ills",
Twelve years a monkey on my back
Can I PLEASE have my brain back?

Six weeks ago, as is my luck
The NHS to trim a buck,
Decided they would swap my brand
"They're just the same, you understand."

Once I took their "no change" drug
I was beset by a woozy fug
Of dizziness and feeling queasy,
(This transition far from easy).

A metal taste all 'round my teeth
All over itching with scant relief,
Pressure a-pressing inside of my head
And dizziness too (as I earlier said).

The main ingredient's just the same
Is some additive to blame?
The "Macrogol", the "Providone"
Or some chemical unknown.

I felt so ill I took no more
I asked the doc 'please doc restore
The pills I took for all those years
To see if this dizziness then disappears.'

Again he stressed 'there's been no change,
If you insist I will exchange
For the old "non-dizzy" make';
Yet have I here a chance to take?

A chance perchance to purge myself
To rule myself my mental health?
It's been ten days without a pill
Alas I'm feeling woozy still.

By withdrawal I'm beset
The nausea has worsened yet,
If I can but persevere
From my meds I'll soon be clear.

It might just be coincidence
I've noticed little incidents
Of emotions vivified
(Watched "…Jazz Singer", almost cried!)

Going "cold turkey" might seem to some
To be quite risky, even dumb,
In my defence I felt attack
Was best for getting...my brain back.

Certificate 12
Poem
THE INNER CONDITION

Comments

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
Hello Kheldar, I do hope you can get back on the road to recovery without popping pills, and also that you get through the cold turkey, for that is something that should only be experienced on Boxing Day with pickles and chips. Sorry to make light of it, hope you took what I said in good humour. Just get well soon. Jenny.

 

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
I can only echo Jenny's sentiments. It's just great that you're comfortable writing about this - it show you're taking those first steps! Get well soon :) Magic xxx

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
I can only second what has already been said, David. All the very best to you;-) Tina xxx

 

Submitted by danrama on
Loved the poem :) "It might just be coincidence I've noticed little incidents Of emotions vivified (Watched "…Jazz Singer", almost cried!)" This makes me smile heightened emotion can certainly be a double edged blade.. though nothing wrong with being temporarily vulnerable to your emotions. Perhaps things you feel now once reflected upon later will be a benefit to you in the long run Kind regards and best wishes of health Dan

Submitted by shoe on
it's a delicate balance, letting the drugs help without losing yourself...releasing emotions without them overwhelming you, ultimately it's about knowing yourself, and I think you do. keep climbing the mountain...xx P.S, I love that little bit Dan quoted too. P.P.S, well done on making the Mag,:}

 

Submitted by Nolan on
With respect. It could be that you never had one? Judging from your last few lines…
 

Submitted by kheldar on
Hi Jenny, No worries, i've been taking my depression in relatively good humour for more years than i care to remember. besides which, i became your greatest fan the moment you mentioned turkey, chips and pickles on Boxing Day - I enjoy that almost as much as Xmas Dinner itself. :--) xxx

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Submitted by kheldar on
Thanks for that magic, taking anti-depressants always was depressing!!! :--) xxx

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Submitted by kheldar on
Thank you so much Dan. It's been over 10 years since I last cried purely from emotion (and only once apart from that but that's a whole other story). :--)

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Submitted by kheldar on
So nolan (with respect) was I brainless for being on anti-depressants or just for my attempt (unconventional as it is) to get off them?

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Submitted by kheldar on
Hi Shirley, Well done to you to, it is a real honour to be in such exalted company as the likes of you, Magic and Tina. I came closer to crying at being in the mag as i did to watching the Jazz Singer!! Thank you as ever for your time and your support. David xxx :--)

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Submitted by kheldar on
Thank you Tina, your support is priceless. :--) xxx

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Submitted by Nolan on
Kheldar, if you are, chances are it is because you didn’t get one.
 

Submitted by kheldar on
Nolan, I would respectfully ask that you refrain from posting you particular brand of twaddle - spiteful comments aren't exactly in the spirit of this site and seems to show a distinct lack of imagination on your part. You've done it to me, I've seen you do it to other people. Please feel free to criticise my writing but please do not level personal comments against me. Do it again and I will either block all comments from my postings or i will be forced to take the matter further.

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Submitted by fatboy74 on
After all that Kheldar I have the chance to tell you I like this poem, humour is probably the best way to deal with this and it works well. Hope you get through the next few weeks without slipping - well done on both counts. :-) ..and glad to see you get the comments back.

 

Submitted by kheldar on
Thankyou fb74, for the comment and the well wishes. :--)

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Submitted by Nolan on
Ok
 

Submitted by danrama on
Good to see your comments back Dan :)

Submitted by kheldar on
Thanks Dan :--)

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Submitted by Kahdai on
hmm ii know the feeling and get sick of any medicine after short time except with emotions/ hormone stuff it can be that having taken them for a while then stopping is actually much worse :/ K xx

"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "

Submitted by kheldar on
Hi Kahdai, thanks for that. Touch wood my psychological symptoms have not worsened any - I only hope the physical symptons are over with soon (bluuuurghh). Thanks as evr for reading and for commenting. :--) xxx

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Submitted by Kahdai on
Hope so too :) x K

"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "