THE INNER CONDITION

By kheldar

These poems are about the inner struggle. Each is heavily but not exclusively autobiographical.

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I Remember....

By kheldar on Wed, 08 Jun 2011

This was composed as an exercise at a monthly writing group I attend - a friend whose opinions I value suggested it might stand up on its own!
Autobiography
Certificate U

:--)

By kheldar on Sun, 28 Nov 2010

'What's with your emoticon?' she asked. 'How do you mean?' said I. 'Most people use ony one dash for the nose, you use two; so tell me why?'
Autobiography
Poem
Certificate U

A Never Ending War

By kheldar on Thu, 26 Jan 2012

Psychiatrists, psychologists Councillors and more, An endless round of battles In a never ending war. Depression pills and sleeping pills Stomach pills and stuff,
Poem
Certificate 12

A TEAR

By kheldar on Tue, 09 Feb 2010

Usually my poems are structured, this is my attempt to break the mould. It is mainly autobiographical, some is the figment of my imagianation.
Poem
Certificate U

AN END TO THIS

By kheldar on Sun, 31 Jan 2010

This is another poem about depression. It is my personal feelings, the things I find the hardest to write about. It was written in 'real time' as I was actually experiencing them.
Autobiography
Poem
Certificate 15

CAN I PLEASE HAVE MY BRAIN BACK?

By kheldar on Mon, 29 Nov 2010

A dozen years I've popped these pills S.N.R.I.'s to "cure my ills", Twelve years a monkey on my back Can I PLEASE have my brain back? Six weeks ago, as is my luck
Poem
Certificate 12
Cherry

THE DARK TIMES

By kheldar on Fri, 20 Nov 2009

This is a poem about depression. The central character is a fiction - most of her experiences and emotions are all my own. Fortunately my own saving voice has always spoken up before I left my bed.
Poem
Certificate 18
Cherry

SPRING AND BROOK AND RIVER

By kheldar on Wed, 10 Feb 2010

I heard someone say that because their life had changed fundamentally that they were never a baby, effectively their life began at that time of change. This is my counter argument.
Poem
Certificate U

HOW QUICK (TRUST TO DUST)

By kheldar on Wed, 10 Feb 2010

One thing in life I fail to learn Is how quick a friend can turn, From someone you think you can trust To one who turns your heart to dust. You thought they'd always have your back
Autobiography
Certificate U

THE VOICE, THE CHOICE, MY FRIENDS REJOICE

By kheldar on Thu, 11 Feb 2010

In adversity there comes hope.
Autobiography
Poem
Certificate 15

WEARINESS

By kheldar on Fri, 12 Feb 2010

Weariness Bone aching, strength sapping weariness.
Autobiography
Poem
Certificate U

THE POET'S CURSE II - SELF-DOUBT

By kheldar on Thu, 25 Feb 2010

I sit here in this attic room I strive to write, I'm struck by gloom; With self-doubt I ceaseless wrest To know I'll never be the best. Words and thoughts rise in my head,
Autobiography
Poem
Certificate U

PAIN

By kheldar on Sat, 27 Mar 2010

Pain Constant pain Not quite physical A mental pain An invisible wound. Constant pain My life is ruled by it Its tendrils ensnare me Its power engulfs me At times it overwhelms me.
Autobiography
Poem
Certificate 15
Cherry

FOR ALL HIS LIFE... (I.P.)

By kheldar on Thu, 08 Jul 2010

For all his life he'd tried his best To make the grade, to pass each test; To raise the bar, to win the game To leave his mark, to etch his name; To scale the heights, to reach the top
Autobiography
Certificate 12
Cherry

NINE THIRTY-FOUR IN THE EVENING

By kheldar on Sat, 10 Jul 2010

As an experiment, I wrote this directly onto ABCtales, a form of free writing if you will. For the record I love my wife very much, it is my illness that makes me withdraw.
Autobiography
Poem
Certificate PG

I TELL THE TALE....

By kheldar on Fri, 06 Aug 2010

I tell the tale, I write the word I pray the voice inside is heard, I form the lines, fine-tune the prose Arrange my thoughts in ordered rows. I write the word, I tell the tale
Biography
Certificate U

SOME SHINE FROM THE FIRMAMENT

By kheldar on Wed, 24 Nov 2010

Some shine from the firmament Their station seeming permanent, Within, without, a stellar glow Held in awe by we below. With pen akin to sorcerer's wand Or QWERTY board that's way beyond
Poem
Certificate U

Get Over it (Again!!) (on having my name mistyped)

By kheldar on Sat, 18 Dec 2010

At last! At last! My name in print You'd think cruel Fate might take the hint, When now at last I've made the grade She would not piss on my parade.
Certificate U

THE POET'S CURSE III - THE CONTEST

By kheldar on Wed, 19 Jan 2011

The contest in question is the National Poetry Anthology 2012 (Closing Date: June 30th 2011) http://www.unitedpress.co.uk/competitions/
Miscellaneous
Poem
Certificate U

QWERTY BOARD

By kheldar on Thu, 20 Jan 2011

My laptop has a QWERTY board In truth it's more a Ouija board, Speaking not to spirits dead Seeking words and rhymes instead. The words are pulled from who knows where
Miscellaneous
Poem
Certificate U
Cherry

HE'D ALREADY DISAPPEARED

By kheldar on Fri, 21 Jan 2011

His name was Peter, but no one ever called him that.
Certificate U

EACH WALKED YARD

By kheldar on Fri, 11 Feb 2011

My walk to work leads out of town With every step my mood dips down, The shift ahead looms ever hard… Anxiety grows with each walked yard.
Certificate U

I HAVE NO SECRET VALENTINE

By kheldar on Fri, 18 Feb 2011

I know it's a tad late, but hell.. if I wanted to work to deadlines I'd write for a newspaper.
Love
Certificate U

Sightless My Mind's Eye

By kheldar on Wed, 27 Apr 2011

Tell me gentles what you see Behind your lidded eyes? Can you behold a sunset, Can you picture cloudless skies? In your imagination Can you see a lush green hill? Can your mind's eye reveal
Poem
Certificate U
Cherry

The Curse of the Unread Story

By kheldar on Wed, 27 Apr 2011

Raising a few questions, letting off steam, laughing at myself - all in 28 lines !!!
Poem
Certificate U
Cherry

STANDING UPON THE SHOULDERS OF GIANTS

By kheldar on Wed, 02 Mar 2016

"If I have seen further (than you and Descartes) it is by standing upon the shoulders of Giants." Sir Isacc Newton in a letter to Robert Hooke...
Spiritual
Other Non-fiction
Autobiography
Poem
Certificate 12

Self Hatred

By kheldar on Wed, 19 Dec 2018

Self-hatred? Always, always, always.
Autobiography
Poem
Certificate PG

JANUARY

By kheldar on Tue, 22 Jan 2019

Christmas Day a distant memory New Year's Eve ignored My birthday a redundant circle on the calendar Twelth Night's number already up Tanenbaums...
Rant
Poem
Certificate PG

I Can See You...

By kheldar on Sun, 17 Feb 2019

Imagine, if you will, the scene. It is a Thursday evening in February; a spoken word event at a city centre coffee bar is in full flow. One reader...
Unclassified
Other Fiction
Miscellaneous
Poem
Certificate U

I Can See You...Postscript

By kheldar on Sun, 24 Feb 2019

" “I will never be as good as these others, you say; their applause means nothing, their comments mean nothing, I mean nothing… “Do you think I need...
Biography
Poem
Certificate U