Another Day...

Cherry

By Silver Spun Sand

Tue, 29 Mar 2011
  • 8000 reads
28 comments
 

“It is eighteen years ago, almost
to the day...I watched you play
your first game of football, then,
like a satellite wrenched from orbit,
go drifting away.” C. Day Lewis

Closer to what he will become,
I watch him walk around the pond;
his presence there, acknowledged
by the redwing...a sanguine sun
reflected in his eyes...

closer to when he will not sing
‘our songs’ to me – the ones I’d sung
as lullabies, and when that question,
‘How could I ever live without you?’
will be the last thing on his mind...

like that day we queued for ages
in the rain, for a trip on a ‘rocket-ship’
and when we’d got home, I’d hugged
him dry and he’d said he loved me
to the moon and back.

Closer to when I’ll ask, ‘Drop me a line...
when you have time.’ Right now though,
can’t think beyond him, breezing in – saying
he’s starving, and me, almost saying,
‘Please...don’t go.’

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Comments

Submitted by well-wisher on
Very sad poem. At first I thought it was going to be about a couple breaking up but then I realized it was about a son growing up and leaving home. The way you have written it makes it sound like a sort of 'break-up' and I think that works really well. I really felt the sadness of the speaker.

Oh look, a link. I wonder where it leads.

JoHn

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
You got it in one, well-wisher. Thanks so very much for taking the trouble, not only to read this, but for your inspired words. Much appreciated;-) Tina

 

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Beautiful poem, Tina! Wonderfully described, especially these lines: 'like that day we queued for ages in the rain, for a trip on a ‘rocket-ship’ and when we’d got home, I’d hugged him dry and he’d said he loved me to the moon and back.' Even at nineteen you pulled out all sorts of maternal feelings in me ;) Magic xxx

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Hi there, Magic! Nice surprise;-) So pleased you liked this one. I guess we're, all of us, many things rolled into one and I'm pleased that even you, as youthful as you are, could somewhat identify. Many thanks again. Tina xxx

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
Hi Tina, I could really feel the heart wrenching feeling you get when a son goes away, I have a son and I know how I feel, even when he goes away for a couple of weeks on holiday. It's a strange thing that when they are with you, sometimes they get on your nerves, but when they are gone, you spend your time wondering if they are alright and looking after themselves. That really came across to me, as I read this, I found it very much how I feel about my son. Thankyou for a chance to reminisce. Jenny.

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Many, many thanks Jenny;-) I am pleased it got you to reminiscing. I do a lot of that, as we all do, I guess. Tina

 

Submitted by Dark Fox on
Thanks for the read once again. I am too young to have children yet.. but I think if I did, it would be hard for me to let go. This is beautifully written with the perfect language of a child. 'he’d said he loved me to the moon and back.' This sounds like something my brother would have said when he was a child (he is 22 now, so no longer a child). Dark Fox xx p.s finally have a new piece of writing so check it out and tell me what you think of it.

Kayleigh Nichols

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Thanks so much for taking the time and trouble to read this, and for your inspired comment, Dark Fox, and indeed I shall 'check out' your new piece. Tina xx

 

Submitted by jennifer on
So much captured here, beautiful and so sad, J x

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Jennifer, many thanks for your lovely comment. Pleased you enjoyed. T x

 

Submitted by SteveM on
Hi Tina, I love the lines: ‘How could I ever live without you?’ will be the last thing on his mind... I was reading it through for a 2nd time when I noticed Well-wishers comment. It does indeed sum it up very well. Steve

SteveM

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Thanks, Steve;-) Yes, Well-wisher does indeed have a way with words...as do you;-) Tina

 

Submitted by Dave Flanagan on
Hi Tina, I liked this one a lot... it's another point of view than "Ugly Kid Joe - Cat's in the Cradle", on the same story... Makes me want to pick up the phone to my Mum right now... All the best Dave

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Hi there, Dave...Cat's in the Cradle. Boy - that takes me back, and some! The seventies, I believe. Many thanks for your inspired comment. More than appreciated. Tina

 

Submitted by fatboy74 on
I love these sad ones Tina, and this is so beautifully sad. :-)

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Now that is an oxymoron of a reply if ever I heard one, fb. And what a lovely one. Thanks;-) Tina

 

Submitted by TVR on
Another good one, Tina. Well done on the cherries. sue

TVR

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Sue - pleased you liked this one, and thanks, so much, for telling me;-) Tina

 

Submitted by Dynamaso on
I think this is a piece only a mother could write and you wrote it so well. The delicate rhymes are treasures.

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Mark - many thanks...and I think you are so right in the bit about being a mother. A place one has had to have been to, to write about, most definitely. Tina

 

Submitted by RachelPatricia on
Tina, this is so beautiful. I'm looking at my son now and cannot imagine him at eighteen or how I'll feel when he is, but this poem is a very good inclination, I think. I'm going to put some extra jam on his toast, while I still can! A simply gorgeous piece, enjoyed this 'to the moon and back' ;o) Rachel xx

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Rachel - what a lovely thing to say. Thank you so much. Hey - and don't even start to imagine your son at eighteen. Believe me, they grow up far too quickly. 'Seize the day', as they say;-) Tina xx

 

Submitted by RachelPatricia on
Most days they seize me, Tina! Just read it again and have adopted it as my new poem for my boy - hope you don't mind, it's too lovely not to ;o) Rachel xx

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
I know exactly what you mean, Rachel;-) And as to your question, I'd be more than flattered. Tina xx

 

Submitted by barryj1 on
This poem reads like a book. Everything someone else might have spent (wasted?) a dozen pages fleshing out, you got exquisitely right in five, lean stanzas. I definitely like this poem best of all, which says a lot because I genuinely value your poetry. I've said it before and, running the risk of becoming pedantic, I'll repeat: the storytelling quality in your poetry is pitch-perfect.

barryj1

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Many thanks, barry. Coming from a writer I much admire, I take your words as a real compliment;-) Tina

 

Submitted by barryj1 on
One more thing. What happened was this: I read your poem at work then I went home and had to make some 'homemade' dogfood for a poodle that I have who's presently on a hunger strike. Then, as I was cutting up the sweet potato, chicken thighs and assorted vegetables, I remembered one other essential I forgot to mention. What makes this poem extra, extra special is that fact that it affects the reader at a visceral level. Do you understand what I mean? There is an immediate emotional/empathetic connect - sort of like what you get when you read one of those heavenly Chekhov tales. Okay, enough said.

barryj1

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Barry - I really do apologise for not thanking you sooner for your inspired comment. Life has been a bit of a 'bitch' lately. Many, many thanks and I really do appreciate it;-) Tina